Alyssa

I don't even have a pla

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

Sometimes I think about how @airfrance left my suitcase in the middle of the sidewalk downtown Chicago at midnight lol

[Mt. Joy @MtJoyBand]

Bud light is good as long as it’s cold. Doesn’t matter if it’s gay, they are wrong about that. It’s really about temperature with bud light.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Shrimp Assumed Visible String Of Shit Would Go Further In Deterring Predators https://t.co/45EiYrV6Ct

[James @CaucasianJames]

corded headphones twitter make some noise for my new set

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

@lolennui @lexxxizz

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Cats may look furry and adorable, but the truth is they are bloodthirsty, coldhearted murderers who live and sleep by your side. Here are all the things cats do that prove they are psychopaths. https://t.co/n9iOmzaw8h

[woahh mann @ashhhhhhole]

and is his potential in the room with us right now?

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

@NanjieGalgalo This is what @AnnaWulf14 is for tho

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Restaurant Puts Fun Little Santa Hat On Severed Head Of Animal That Screamed When It Died https://t.co/e10st0wzNw

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

He just wanted the neighbors to stop dumping garbage on mountain habitat so they body-shamed him?????????????? SMH. The Grinch is a conservation baddie, put some respect on his name WHOVILLE.

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

Applies to my feral cat, too

[trash jones @jzux]

someone once told me “if you can see a mountain lion, that means it isn’t hunting you.” every day since i have lived in terror

[Mike Abrusci @mikeabrusci]

If you’re excited about the original lineup of Blink 182 getting back together: please remember to stretch your lower back and hamstrings today. Your body isn’t what it used to be and that’s ok

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

@AndieUnderwood Tomorrow night???

[Tee @avantbyavant]

Just heard “Don’t miss out on your life trying to get it together” and I might’ve needed to hear that more than I know

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

@hotlenaa @AndieUnderwood Ummm Andie.. before our romantic honeymoon even..?

[chrissy 𑁤 ʹˎ˗ @chrissychaaos]

don’t worry darling spoilers w/ no context #DontWorryDarling #DontWorryDarlingSpoilers

[Alyssa @MissLyss_03]

Catch we with wire headphones idc

[Chris Josephs @Chrisjjosephs]

Two days ago the NYT posted an investigation into politicians trading stocks

They found that 81 Democrats & 101 Republicans filed up to 3,700 trades and $100M in possible volume

Many had 100% winners, with some perfectly timed

Here’s examples of just how good they were