Melisa Mae

I used to write about dating & sex. Then I got married so I don’t have sex anymore. I don’t date anymore either because my husband frowns upon it.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

The real challenge with Twitter is trying to see how many followers you can get without having to show a nipple.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Good day LA said to take a selfie in camouflage to show our support for Veterans and if that isn’t the most LA thing I���ve ever heard I don’t know what is. #gooddayLA #VeteransDay #selfie

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

@KatieDeal99 Same, girl.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Bought new furniture for the living room and got a new recliner specifically for my husband. It’s now my recliner bcuz he refuses to use it. Apparently, it’s unacceptable to him since it doesn’t have a drink holder or mini bar.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Reason #1092 I love being married: Last weekend we got drunk and watched @candlebox videos. I miss the 90s so hard.

[Ryan Chandler Moses @RyanMoses20]

Yes!!!! Here we come Giants #Dodgers

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

#MyTwitterAnniversary

I’m suddenly feeling very old.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

I told the hubs I desperately needed a weekend away to relax and decompress. He’s currently booking a trip to Vegas. Not exactly what I meant and yet a euphemism for our life together.

[ķ @Khailsss]

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height weight and size ordered are going to heaven

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

NOW it is officially Christmas 🎄

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

The hubs really needs to stop dying his goatee and embrace the gray. Our bathroom wall is starting to look the oven backsplash.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Love this! Happy early birthday, sag sister! ♐️ 🔥 🎊

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

It���s Sagittarius season, baby! ✨🍾🎉

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Thanks, @asavwms!

[Asa Williams @asavwms]

Happy Birthday to the always majestic, always magnificent, always marvelous (Mrs) @MissMelisaMae!!!!! #FF Ⓜ️ ❤️

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

Henry Winkler is now on Tiktok. Don’t ask how I know.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

@riteaid should reconfigure their stores and put the alcohol where it truly belongs. In the Wellness aisle.

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

My dad just texted me to say hi and that he loves me. Out of nowhere. That’s the true meaning of blessed.

[Amy Lynn🐇💀 @AmyLynnStL]

I know it's still early, but it doesn't look too good for Kanye...🙄

[Melisa Mae @MissMelisaMae]

The hubs working from home is really putting a damper on my ability to shop undetected.