NJC

I can make a killer sandwich.

[NJC @MissMonster89]

@TMobileHelp can someone help. My boyfriend new phone can’t send messages on fb messenger or go to actual websites without being on cellular

[NJC @MissMonster89]

@itsBayleyWWE Your hands looks like they’re made out of clay 😂

[Kokujin @Kaibutsu]

What in tarnation? I am morbidly curious.

[NJC @MissMonster89]

My love ♥️

[NJC @MissMonster89]

Happy birthday!! Merry Christmas 🎁🎄 @Stixzadinia

[ichabod chungus @doyhickey]

last time we ordered mexican food they delivered three entrees, and I looked at my wife while pointing quizzically at the third box, and she made eye contact and said, "emergency chimichanga"

[Bob Kostic @causticbob]

THE MORE I GET TO KNOW PEOPLE, THE MORE I REALIZE WHY NOAH ONLY LET ANIMALS ON THE BOAT.

[NJC @MissMonster89]

@Stixzadinia I miss your face!!!

[Annie the Nanny @AnnietheNanny1]

To the women who look good in flannels and messy buns: How dare you

[Emma Beasley🐝 @JustBeingEmma]

My husband loves to haggle. If a doctor gave me six months to live, he'd try to get it down to five.

[SaltyGirl @saltssaltgirl]

If by “rub one out” you mean rip all my pants from thigh friction, than yes,“I rub one out” constantly.

[Winter 🕸"AlonHuskisABitchboy”👾👹deHawtness @giveWinteraBone]

Cream pies? In this economy?

[Kayla Becker @TheKaylaBecker]

Since I don’t know my dad and have no connection with that side, I signed up for one of those ancestry sites. I got a message from a guy who just might be my brother. I read his message and almost cried … I can’t believe I share blood with a person with such terrible grammar.

[⎝⎝✧Ṩigᴍ🅰✧⎠⎠ @Lone42wolf]

Music will sit with you in the darkness.

[Humphrey U Bogart @OfficialUBogart]

Smoking weed & digging thru crates of old records is all the fuckin therapy i need

[Humphrey U Bogart @OfficialUBogart]

Keep talkin shit.. I hope my dick gets stuck in ya throat again

[Buddawiggi @MarkBuckawicki]

I’m so low maintenance we don’t have to meet or talk or whatever