Lexi Balestrieri

Singer, dancer, actor, director. 1/3 of @Bouncy_Boxer Media production company. Sometimes I say witty things. Instagram: @lexileebee Facebook: Lexi Balestrieri

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

@TruistNews Customers should not have to wait almost two weeks for a check to deposit, especially when they’re relying on that money to pay their bills. You guys suck and I will be switching banks. #truistsucks

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

“Please note that before abandoning your property, failure to keep your lawn below exactly 1 1/2 inches will result in a $75 fine.”

- Every HOA in every zombie apocalypse show

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

My toxic trait is that I boo people for making punny jokes, then ten seconds later I turn around and make a punny joke.

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

@FeministaJones @amandadeibert @cmaddenmft It’s funny you should say that. I had an ex break up with me on NYE. Total dick move.

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

Summertime, aka Giant-Wolf-Spiders-in-My-House Season. #florida #nope

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

@USPS your customer service is horrible! You don’t deliver on time, don’t update your customers on ETA, and your callback system sucks! Get it together. #badcustomerservice

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

@Calinuece You know a realtor. 💁🏻‍♀️😁

[Ron Perlman @perlmutations]

To all my female friends, I don’t know about you but I get the feeling that the Professor Ford/Kavanaugh affair, regardless of any details, have finally and unequivocally exposed how disposable a party run by old, corrupted bigoted, dried up men has become. Throw these bums out!

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

White people love shouting, “Play ball!” after the end of the national anthem.

[Erin Cronican @ErinCronican]

ACTORS: Make sure you’re giving yourself time to be an artist. Dream. Brainstorm. Grow. Create.

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

You know you’re a dog person when you talk about how much you miss other people’s dogs. #dogperson #youknowwhen

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

Does anybody else have this chronic problem where they keep opening the wrong end of the oregano and spill it all over their pizza? #askingforafriend
That friend is me.

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

“He said, "One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember."
My father told me when I was just a child
These are the nights that never die.”

#RIPAvicii

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

“Grace and humor are great accessories.” - Barbara Bush

#RIP #BarbaraBush

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by #DaylightSavingTime
*raises hand*

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

After eight years, how come the zombies don't, like, biodegrade?

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

I really loved this movie and found it pretty terrifying. That’s saying a lot, because I don’t usually get scared by #horror movies.

The Ritual(2017) Review https://t.co/aPgvQG3xFs

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

Meet The Gypsy Filmmaker - The Beginning of a Travel Vlog Quest https://t.co/TrTJTtFzDR

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

How to Get an Agent: Bonnie Gillespie's Self-Management for Actors https://t.co/f1G28mlDTJ

[Lexi Balestrieri @Miss_Lexi_Lee]

https://t.co/8bImoi6B2o