Mission Apostate

Full-time Mormon missionary by day, sarcastic existentialist by Twitter. I'm harmless.

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

It took me many years to realize there is no one right way to do life. It's just life. You live it how you live it. #Religion

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Things I learned from being an Exmormon returned missionary:

You're a lot more critical and observant of the language used in news articles and press releases.

[Pat Bagley @Patbagley]

Some suggest I tamper the anger: It’s off-putting.
For a real catalogue of off-putting-piss-offedness, try the Declaration of Independence https://t.co/LzgasLfh0Z

[Jana Riess @janariess]

A former #Mormon missionary accuses a high-ranking #LDS leader of sexual misconduct -- some of which he seems to admit on tape. Meanwhile, his family offers police documentation that challenges her credibility. https://t.co/CVHhWbrGg3

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

For those who don't know, #Mormon #missionaries have a small selection of approved books. These books are the only books they can read during their 18 or 24 month mission.

This book used to be one of them. #LDSChurch #RapeCulture https://t.co/Ay2vNFhgZ4

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

"...who served briefly as a missionary..."

The #LDSchurch sends more than 300 #missionaries home early every month on average. I don't know why "briefly" has to be included here. #psychologyoflanguage

https://t.co/wmMC1ookJ8

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

I've been home so long now I can't remember how long I've been home because I try not to think about it. #ldsmission #atleastmymtcexperiencewasfun

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

-Sister missionary drawing balloons stops and gets frustrated-

"This looks like sperm!"

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Every member a missionary, y'all! #ShareGoodness #whyileft #Mormons #thisisthewholeconversation

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

When you're transferred to a new area as senior comp & your jr comp knows less than you do about the area.

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

"Let's turn a potentially one minute phone call into ten minutes" thinks 90% of my mission leaders. #BetterThingsToDoWithFreeTime

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

You know how sometimes your friend's one year old is wearing a sleeveless sundress and all the Mormons be like

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

So my mission rolled out pants for sisters and basically it was golden opportunity for the Modesty Talk and confusing guidelines.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

The existence of Twitter is forever validated by the following exchange.

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Some old timers were like "ya bc once upon a time we baptized whoever moved, etc." & the leaders were like stop trying to justify it.

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Spent zone conference learning about how our baptism rate is so low bc we, the missionaries, are the problem & should repent. #NotMotivated

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Most of my mission friends are going to BYU. I swear I try to talk them out of it. https://t.co/VEFUh22emm

[HuffPost Religion @HuffPostRelig]

BYU's exclusion from big 12 highlights discriminatory church policies on LGBT https://t.co/Zr8MgxnEvD @mitchmaynecom

[Mission Apostate @MissionApostate]

Well, I've never had guns pointed at me, but I've definitely had white women tell me many things to my face. #Utah https://t.co/5AWj5HKhR0