Parker Benbow

I’m honestly just here to shout into the void

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

Y’all ever start bullying your inner critic back?

“They don’t like you and no one wants to talk to yo-“

“Oh really, hyper critical inner monologue? You speaking from personal experience?”

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

Sometime I just think about how in a class we were told to partner up and share a fun fact. And I didn’t intuit that it was a fun fact about us…

So I just turned to this woman and said “A caterpillar completely liquifies in its chrysalis and then remakes itself as a butterfly”

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@sparenath So like a romantic Freddy Krueger?

[Jaythechou @jaythechou]

I Photoshop Paddington into another movie until I forget: Day 193

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@hey_taytay Taylor….TAYLOR!!!!

[Jaythechou @jaythechou]

I Photoshop Paddington into another movie until I forget: Day 227

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

I’ve lived in the same building for three years. Every time I have to write down the address I still think “I hope this is right…”

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

Y’all ever overthink your overthinking?

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@CatherineLloyd I honestly wonder what the threshold is for them.

A few years back I got an infection in my face that was eating bone and they deemed the treatment elective…..

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@Brigidinthecity I’m almost certain this is what I was thinking in that moment!

….it’s also occurring to be that Phoebe doesn’t even sound like it starts with a P. This is only slightly better than pterodactyl!

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

You know when you have to spell something and also give a word for each letter and you totally forget the entire English language every time?

Well today I told someone “P as is Phoebe Buffay…..Lisa Kudrow’s character on friends?”

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@hey_taytay Obviously you have to go back cause maybe they will feel sorry for you and give you free drinks…?

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

I know she really cares, cause I will text @hey_taytay and she doesn’t tweet about it till the next day

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@hey_taytay The ✨ is my most used emoji

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

Passing a wood chipper while on a run is pretty much the definition of an intrusive thought

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

“I have no heart and a winning personality” ✨GOLD✨

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@joanknockout The number of times I think I can pack my lunch in the morning only to wake up five minutes before I need to LEAVE..... and then say the same thing that night

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@joanknockout One sure fire way to find out!...?????

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

I’m confused by the customers that want to make me feel bad for not remembering their name.

1. I’m the only one here wearing a name tag
2. I really only know the names of the customers that really bother me
.... 2a. See you next week Jared

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@ohthegrace “I know we all have a lot of demands on our time and resources with everything going on, so I want to assure you I don’t expect anything big or over the top...”

[Parker Benbow @MistArcher]

@LikeEmily @Wozphotography @thenerdyparents Surviving and looking great doing it