Adam G. Mays

Your weekly source of off-beat humor.

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@uhaul Why does it take so long to get help when someone else moved my belongings into a storage unit without my consent? Do you intentionally want to deny the lawful owners of the property access to their belongings?

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

More like high/wasted am I right?

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

Does anyone else see parallels between Tess of the D'Urbervilles and Elfin Lied?
#animepedantry #ElfinLied #otakushit

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

SMALL TORTLES?!
I'm super hyped for Monsters of the Universe
#monstersoftheuniverse
#dungeonsanddragons

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@DarkSlayerKi Nature is healing 🏞️🕸️🕷️

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

D&D 5e hot take- Speak with Dead is a bad spell because Rules as Written disincentivizes it's use by making the information intentionally obtuse.
#dnd5e #effortlessrhyming #speakwithdead #speakwithdeadsux #samelevelasfireball

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

#pundaymonday #internetcomedian #dungeonsanddragons

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@afropnkprincess @1354Tanya The news stories I read reported the pregnant women fell and was treated in the school. She was not shot. The teacher who was shot had interposed himself between the fighting students. Sounds like the teacher was between the shooter and his targets/assailants

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@ConagraBrands I sent you guys a dm about 5 hours ago and never heard back. Is that normal for you guys?

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

Nothing builds fiber like a nice sliver of wood in your prepacked frozen meal #healthychoice #powerbowl #conagra

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@OMGitsTravy @ConagraBrands If it was, that stick of rosemary was thicker than a match stick 😬and they should have a warning on the box

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

Okay okay, joke 2:
I've heard of morning wood but never lunch time wood!

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

#pundaymonday #mymixtapetalkingdownonpeoplethatroll19andunderwasacriticalhit #DnDPuns #dndjokes

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

Did you know that when a woman hits you with the bend in their leg, it's not a crime even when it's a fatal blow? When men strike people like that with any level of force it's always a fella-knee.

#PundayMonday #youkneedmetomakethesejokes #makemefamous

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

I started trying to learn braille recently, and while I haven't made very much progress I think I can tell whether a math problem in braille is using subtraction or addition. They're very similar, but I can feel the difference!

#pundaymonday #herearesumadditionalmathjokes

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

I reminded one of my younger friends that I was 31 last night.
I jokingly said "After 30 they just start flying off"
This morning Alex reminded me I was 32.
#Millennials #old #30s

[Descent Into the Void @DescentVoid]

Some feats are strong but some go beyond just strong! What do you think the best feat in 5e is? ✨🎲 ✨
#dnd5e #ttrpg #dndmemes #lucky #roleplay #feats

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

@SirAfronomical Don't call it a comeback- the Lord of Locs will never fall as long as the Afroletariat lives.

[Adam G. Mays @MisterAMaysing]

I was walking down the street today and saw this couple arguing. They were swearing, yelling, and nearly fighting! I almost approached them, but I noticed they were both walking towards a gym. I was worried, but I think those two are going to work out.

#pundaymonday