K Jacobson

Endurance athlete, outdoor enthusiast, motorcyclist, punk rawker, metalhead, occasional hooligan & huge freakin' dork. Doing stupid things so you don't have to.

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@PuckingDelulu Marner's warm-up includes a bit of figure skating - bet he could nail it with a bit of practice

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@FionaBowler Wishing you and Reg a lovely day, and your dirtbag ex the day he deserves

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@TheoFleury14 @MrJoKeR604 Don't worry Theo, someday @kfc will acknowledge your awesome Colonel Sanders cosplay profile pic and you'll know it hasn't all been in vain

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@GrittyNHL

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@100mileclay

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@militaryhistori Don't fall for it @LibraryBoundInc !

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

Why refer to it as "jumping to conclusions" when it's clearly a case of premature extrapolation

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@IhaveNoRealSkil @Naijella86 @barrowc730 @gunsnrosesgirl3 The way I understand it, the issue is that the larger ones get dangerous as they age - going a bit senile and getting aggro with their owners. You never know when they'll just casually become homocidal

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

No rest for the wicked...or the stupid

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@asmlise "If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid"

..or simply..

"More foam than beer"

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

Rain is just cloud blood I am not taking any questions at this time

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@LivingMatthew25 @IMoanalotHutchy @Yoda4ever It's actually so they can dig through the snow for forage in winter

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

Basically any race photo of me

[yammi @sighyam]

obsessed with the fact that in all these pics Moo Deng was probably only going like 4mph

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@scottcarlinpt Except sometimes "nervous about race pace" means "afraid you won't make the cutoff"

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@buitengebieden Now there's a man with porpoise

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@TheEmoMama GREAT ANOTHER THING I'M FAILING AT

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@dieworkwear Also WHAT ARE YOU EATING YOU LITTLE GREMLIN

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

Took me too long to realize the perfect tool for a stubborn pistachio is the half-shell of another pistachio. It works better than a knife blade, your teeth, or fingernails, and even if it breaks you manufacture 2 more tools for every nut you open

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@saddymayo Rats on the countertops
Pie rats
Of the carrot bean

[K Jacobson @MistressKofOs]

@chabcharu Ooh I'd take relief rather than just the crushing depression of knowing I probably did a crap job of it and it means nothing in the grand scheme of entropy anyway