Allison Mitton

Teacher, math nerd, and cat lover 🐈

[Allison Mitton @MittonAllison]

My talents include:
•opening apps that I just closed 0.5 seconds ago
•changing from one tshirt to another and calling it "getting ready"

[Allison Mitton @MittonAllison]

@UDOTTRAFFIC @UtahTrucking I am also getting a bunch of notifications for this on the app and the app won’t load when I open it. Hopefully this can be fixed soon

[Chris Gethard @ChrisGethard]

Looking for a way to navigate the addictive, unpredictable, but admittedly overwhelming Beautiful/Anonymous back catalogue? I've made a massive set of playlists that might help you dive (or dive back) into the show. https://t.co/qwHUJozMtF

[Chris Gethard @ChrisGethard]

On this week's Beautiful/Anonymous I talk to a 48 Year Old Grandfather about the touring life and also a horrific moped accident, amongst other things. It's a good one. https://t.co/loV294RK8c

[Parks and Recreation @parksandrec]

He's a 10 but he bankrupted a city after running for mayor when he was 18

[Allison Mitton @MittonAllison]

@tacobell why can’t you put a soft taco in the cravings box? 😩

[Sarah McGonagall @gothspiderbitch]

so did anyone else know that there was a massive pool noodle battle planned between all the people named Josh today that was ultimately won by a 5-year old named Josh who was crowned The Supreme Josh or was I just supposed to find this out on my own

[Rhett & Link @Mythical]

You have not lived until you’ve tried Jack Black’s Flapjacks

[Redda @fragoles]

ok ok just had a talk with my bf where I was like "sometimes I get so excited while reading my eyes.. skip over entire paragraphs? n then I have to like force myself to stop reading and go back to read the parts I missed" n he was like "NO ONE DOES THAT" pls tell me I'm not alone

[Guppy @closet_EX]

How to come out as a millennial from Utah:

"Are you jumping in the trees?! Are you jumping on the houses???"

"Ninja vanish!"

"Oceanology! Oceanography! Fa-c-t."

"It's a Polly....... Pocket....."

[Allison Mitton @MittonAllison]

Who’s going to tell @CostaVida that the semicolon exists? Would make this list much less confusing 😅