When your nervous system believes your life is on the line, it doesn't care about your long-term health. So you shrink. You avoid conflict. You overgive. You people-please. You dissociate. You endure. You've been through enough. Forgive yourself for what you did in survival mode.
The God who makes the sun set and rise is the same God to whom we can safely release all we are facing.
God sees it. God knows what to do with it. Trust Him to guide you. Do your part. But then let Him handle the rest.
i think a lot of people mistake accountability for an attack because acknowledging the harm they caused would require them to confront parts of themselves they’d rather avoid
Deciding you no longer have the attention, time, or energy to argue and choosing peace over trying to win an argument, having the last word, or proving the other person wrong is top-tier self-care.
Trauma didn’t give me strength.
It gave me trust issues.
Panic attacks.
A hyperaware brain that won’t shut off.
It gave me nights I couldn’t sleep.
Relationships I couldn’t maintain.
And a body that flinches at safety because it doesn’t recognize it.
My trauma didn’t teach me resilience.
It taught me fear.
It taught me to be small.
To apologise for existing.
To expect love to hurt.
And I’m still unlearning all of it.
Women will survive abuse, heartbreak, grief, and unspeakable tragedies and still move through the world with kindness and compassion, but one minor inconvenience in a man’s childhood and he spends the rest of his life hurting everyone around him.