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LIFE UPDATE: I Went Back To School, Building A Medical Career & Life I Love, Still Married?
https://t.co/vEQkZvyK9T via @YouTube
One thing about adulthood that way too many people learn way too late (and have no choice but to learn the hard way): you have to be deliberate/proactive about everything. For the first time in your life, you can't be passive participant in anything.
And even the content of the conferences is even the problem.
Women’s Conference = Managing the home, balancing Career and home, Submission, Child care, Choosing right.
Men’s conference = Leadership, Investment, Success, Vision.
I’m glad that things are changing
The only thing I'll add to this conversation is that "I'm not a feminist but I believe in the equal rights of women and men" is something that really sounds nice on paper and protects you from opposition.
Whenever you speak up against inequality, misogyny, unfair systems, they will still ascribe the term feminist to you. And when they do that, they will mean that you're rebellious or aggressive.
It won't matter what you say you're not; what will matter is what you believe, and the limits others think they're allowed to demand of your belief.
My fellow Nigerians, I suspect that if, in your childhood, your parents went scorched-earth on every single infraction, big or small, the odds that you know how to regulate your emotions in your adult domestic life are slim to none.
Many learnt malice/ silent treatment from the homes they grew up in btw.
But you don’t have to carry on that behaviour. You can grow, challenge yourself and become better.
Stop justifying harmful patterns.
“What if you need space?”
Communicate it. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and say “I’m really hurt right now and need a moment”.
Don’t go for too long. Come back and face it, bravely and calmly.
Healthy relationships are built, brick by brick.
I’m really glad this malice/ silent treatment topic is trending.
As uncomfortable as it may be for many who retreat to this during conflict with their partners, hopefully it’s a learning point of how harmful it is.
Not just to your partner but to the relationship as a whole.
Being easy to offend + slow to forgive/ let go = worst kind of partner, I’m so sorry.
Life is already hard enough, don’t create war in your homes/ relationships because you want to “win” or make the other person bend to your will all the time.