Melanie

(not actually a dog)

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Totally kidding for the record, those bitches ruined my life too

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae As an 8th grade friend I’m offended

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

any movie can be a Christmas movie as long as your family is arguing in the background

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Would you believe me if I told you my last name is MERRY and my family has wasted all that potential by never once making a Christmas card? Sure, kid me was spared years of embarrassment but now I’m 25 and I’m pissed.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Returning my ex’s Christmas presents for Amazon gift cards rather than refunding my credit card cause I deserve to feel pampered

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

Kids will be like "How do you think you're gonna die" and then do a cartwheel

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Fresh idea: toast that stays warm

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@MeekAshleigh Same but where’s ur fav from cause I want more

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton Woooooo thanks for the knowledge I knew I could count on you! Here are some pretty ones.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton I found a bunch of scallop shells today and a few of them have this pattern and I gotta know why!! (Not from the same scallop FYI)

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton Yes they are all from Cini beach! I’m strapped into my car seat go ahead

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae This ones kinda obvious but if you have the time, sit down and do it with him. I’ve helped some kids with their online work recently and it’s honestly really confusing and he may just be frustrated and confused.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Make him watch prison/juvie documentaries

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Bribes

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

“Small regular and large”

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Need to share this- bf is a PA and has literally worked at a gynecologists office climbing inside vaginas all day and I asked him the other day what the ‘S’ meant on the tampon (which he took from said gynecologist) AND HE SAID SMALL

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

How to medical

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

I figured it out! all you gotta do is find someone who always gives you the last bite and that’s love ❤️

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@eloiset1957 I feel sorry for you!

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@12Tigger12 Omg I love it