Maggie Longstaff

Mother, gran, wife, researcher and relieved that we now have a govt that looks and acts intelligently and In the interests of the Australian people.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@JaneCaro No wonder he only lasted one term.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

‘It’s going to be different’: David Marr set to replace ABC doyen Phillip Adams https://t.co/8KnEyclld6

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@grumpyoldfool62 I think the means testing takes too much time and trouble and remember a lot of the super rich don’t pay tax so they would qualify anyway

[Nitrous Oxide 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇺🇦 Babysitting TFG @IamVyv]

This lady sounds like fun.👍😉

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3AM, a bit loaded, I headed home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and 'cuckooed' three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I 'cuckooed' another NINE times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him, "Midnight."

He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said, "But we need a new clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh, shit.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@JaneCaro I think the private schools should only get money if they provide proper classes and help for kids with autism etc. Currently the only schools to cater for these kids are public schools.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

https://t.co/35P4NZ2syn

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@grumpyoldfool62 Only 30% of the female population voted for the LNP in the last election. That should tell them something.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

‘We all suffered’: Louise and David Helfgott’s complicated upbringing https://t.co/ooe1J5avPO

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@MikeCarlton01 @4mambo It would be hell!

[g @grs177]

@SaintEd61 @ChristyDanFan

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@AtticusKaren @JayJay91341991 Same size, same glasses, same everything.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@lloydois @PeterWMurphy1 And Samantha Maiden in the mix.

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

The Sam Maiden show is on ABC at the moment!

[Pup Fiction @jjjove]

Scott Morrison checking to see if he’s got the date right for his farewell dinner at Engadine Maccas as nobody’s there yet

[Maggie Longstaff @Mobnoel]

@BhaktSanatani_ @fasc1nate What a wonderful kind little girl. Her mum needs to take some lessons from her