Shelby Long

No speciality. Just livin' that hard knock life, but mom style.

Slightly above average mom to 5 kids 7 & under. Just tryin to make a dollar outta 15 cent y'all

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

I go from feeling nothing at all to feeling everything at once.

#mondaythoughts
#MondayVibes
#motherhood
#parenting
#

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

*me waking up my husband from a cold dead sleep at 3 AM*

Me: Babe I can't sleep

*him being startled awake to acknowledge my mental breakdown*

Babe: Well neither can I apparently

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

*usually calls him babe for everything*

Me: Hey Kevin can you come help me real quick?

Him: Damn you callin by my slave name and everything?

😂😂

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

6 Y.O: When it's dark, it's kind of hard to see.

Me: Yeah that's why it's called bedtime- go to sleep.

#parenting #bedtime
#momjokes

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.

1 Corinthians 13:4

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Some people wait for their pizza rolls to cool while others eat the delicious hot lava, naked and unafraid.

We are not the same.

#pizza #parentingtips #follow #laugh #humor #momlife

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

You see toys all over the floor and a mess.

I see individual attention given to my kids, to create a miniature Jurassic World with amenities, lodging, and probably a dino-spa.

We are not the same.

#momlife #momof5 #attendant #parenting #7andunder #play #time #attention #love

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

If Quarantine doesn't lift soon a lot of guys will miss Step Daddy Try-Outs... I mean, Sundress Season!!

#SundressSeason #lockdownextension #COVID19 #ParentingInAPandemic #DaddyDaughter #dad #summer #sun #dress #seasons #momlife

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Dating: "Oh I'll get a salad.... I'm not that hungry"

Married: "Babe... I woke up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and ate the entire other half of that cake"

#married #husband #wife #parenting #breastfeeding
#funny #truth #thursdaymorning

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

#MothersDay #jokes #motherhood #parenting #StayHome #day44oflockdown #coronavirus #truth #Parents #parentingtips #ParentingInLockdown

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

I hope my kids remember that they can do all things through Christ except try me.

Motherlations 24:7 365

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Yes kids can be assholes sometimes but if you put a bull in a china shop, what do you think they're gonna do?!

Give them something to play with. Let them be productive.

#parenting #LearningNeverStops #explore #touch #play #parenthood #truth #BOMB

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

#motherhood #momlife #parenting #jokes #notplaying

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

@TevvyTime My 3rd would be Lilly....she is diesel!!

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Morning shift is gonna be PISSED

[From The 🌊To The Sea, B!tch🍉 @MacgyveringM22]

Rebelling as a teen: Fuck these rules, imma sneak out

Rebelling as a mom: Fuck these dishes, imma do that shit mañana

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

@nottheworstmom #ifyoudontiwill #helpasisterout

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

@nottheworstmom Tell your boob tape to shut the fuck up 😂😂😂😂

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Husband walks in kitchen.

Me: *without hesitation* I'm not crying, it was the onions.

Him: You were crying.

#tuesdayvibes #ParentingInLockdown
#ParentingInAPandemic

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

Post Malone: *turn this kitchen counter into a strip club*

Sadie: What's a strip club, mommy?
Me: It's a place they sell chicken strips!
Sadie: Well?! What are you waiting for ???
😂😭💀
#PostMalone #PostMaloneLive #QuarantineQuotes #parentingdoneright

[Shelby Long @MomHardLife]

@nottheworstmom Yes...on account of my kids, because....get the fuck out