Mommin It Up Mediocre

Just a Mom, trying hard to see the funny in the moments that make you want to cry. Surviving on Caffeine, Chaos and Amazon Prime.

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Having kids is like being in college; your roommates are messy jerks, there is leftover food everywhere, questionable wet spots in your bed and it’s costs us thousands of dolllars. #BADMomLife
#SeriouslyWhyIsMyBedWet

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

@nbcsnl Rip!!! @colehauser

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Kids
laundry
dishes
husband
Less technology & appliances

How did our grandmothers do it?

Ohh that’s right, they had the REAL Coca-Cola

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

I have accepted all cookies every time I’m asked…I have yet to receive any cookies though 🤔 🍪

#WhereMyCookiesAt #cookiesplease #mediumwell #chocolatechip

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

@Teasapetal Y’all don’t eat gravy other than Thanksgiving & Christmas??? Please tell me this is not so. I’m so sad for the gravy! 😂

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Stocking stuffer tip:
Last year my genius husband took pictures of my make up, hair products & lotions. Then he went to the drug store & hair salon & asked the lovely helpers to find him the right goods. My stocking was full of useful, desired goodies!
So smart! #Keeper

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

December 4th is the last day to watch The Grinch on Netflix???

@netflix
This makes no sense!
Can we please get an extension to January 4th?

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Setting my timer & preordering take out 😂

[Prime Video Canada 🇨🇦 @PrimeVideoCA]

Every. Body. Pays.

Watch the #Yellowstone Season 4 trailer and 🖤 this tweet to receive a reminder when the show premieres, November 7 on @PrimeVideoCA.

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Parent Hack: Vinegar
This stuff is amazing!
Got slime in the carpet or clothes? Vinegar.
Cleaning? Vinegar!
Kid cussing? Vinegar!
Making pickles? Vinegar!

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Me: hey buddy, how was your day?

3yo: *sad eyes*
*lifts his foot in the air

Me: oh do you have an owie?
*gently holds his foot with shoe still on to inspect invisible injury*
Did you fall down? Stub your toes?

3yo:

Me:

3yo: me stepped in dog poop

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Tips on cleaning a jacuzzi tub after toddler drops a deuce??
#FML #BrownBubbles #Parenting #WeCantHaveNiceThings #ToddlersAreAssholes

[Mama Llama @justamom819]

Fuck Botox. I need WD-40 injections.

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

At 2AM I wake up to my 5yo staring at me bedside like something out of The Shining.
I asked what was wrong

5yo: I’m super bored in my room

Me:....so many 2AM questions

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Hey Nick & Amy @NBCMakingIt would you consider renting out the making it barn for Make-cations? Air B & B style?? 😄

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Good thing I’m crafty because Nick & Amy have me in stitches.
@NBCMakingIt

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

I was so excited about the new Space Jam movie...until I learned that Labron James was in it 😕
#AintNoMJ

[Amom @anxiouscougar]

*Picking up 6 lava cakes from Dominoes*

Employee: I gave you 3 spoons, do you need more?

Me: I will need less.

[FeralTherapist (she/her) 🏳️‍🌈♣️🍍🐎🍄 @IMomalogues]

Me before kids: I want my kids to know that it's ok to cry and express their emotions.

Me, three years, two children, countless sleepless nights, and one very long morning later: For the love of God will you just stop crying?!?

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Costco starts handing out samples again

[Mommin It Up Mediocre @MomminMediocre]

Finish this statement

COVID is not over until...

[Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy]

Most problems in my house can be solved by providing snacks