MommyDearest

Don't you judge me

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

This whole time I thought Travis Kelce played for Kansas.

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

If you're the kind of person who gets upset when things break, don't have kids. I know that now.

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

Me: * spends the day cleaning the house*

My kids: what have you done?!

[@sherisayssit @sherisayssit]

Kids at bedtime be like I suddenly need this stuffed animal I haven’t cared about for weeks so find it now or find an exorcist.

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Moms are obsessed with iced coffee because our coffee always goes cold and we just got used to it

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

If by crossfit, you mean vacuuming the house while holding a toddler that doesn’t want to be held but also doesn’t want to be set down then yes, I do crossfit.

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Creche is the most expensive thing that your kids never use because they're at home with the ilnesses they picked up at creche

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Signed off an email with "bet" instead of "best" so yeah I'm a young un now

[Irrationalmomthoughts @Irrationalmomt1]

I need to see the numbers. Men must waste at least 5 years of their lives pooping. At least.

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

My kids when we are out of Calpol...

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

So funny how my ex always needs to talk to me at 2am and not 2pm

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

How come when my partner is sick they go to pieces but when I have the SAME ILLNESS I'm still doing laundry, dinner, and looking after the kids?

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

This can't be the same 10pm I used to start getting ready to go out at

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

That special time of year you realise you have bought more than your house can hold

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

At this point I'm just building a little tower at the foot of the stairs for my other half to ignore every time he passes

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Keep thinking my Christmas cards are done with because they are sitting in the hall with stamps on them 😑

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Life with a toddler? I spent all afternoon making a big family lasagne and am now scraping the sauce off the lasagne sheets for my three year old as she only wants the pasta.

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

It's that time of year again! Time to mute my friends who post their Elf on the Shelf every day

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

Idea: a "Missed Connections" type thing but for moms you really vibed with at the playground

[MommyDearest @MommyDearest855]

My husband is always reading me #aita stories with horror meanwhile he's way worse than lots of those guys....