Momoweng

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/oNqOOkFPVW "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/D9fixMILER In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

"It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos http://t.co/T73teTZqRJ

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/g9DQswmXAG

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. http://t.co/rXBk8zpq7P

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/bUjQwPKEQ2

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. http://t.co/LTKrdfQIti

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/VhQoBIiZFW Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home. http://t.co/uuaTlYLaYa

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/hotDhpFf "So, is there a MRS. A-Z?" - Lady hitting on Jason Mraz

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/zUqd8rxw If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let me call people.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

I'm disappointed *The Social Network* movie about Facebook didn't have an epic Farmville scene. http://t.co/qEtFtm8s

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/MXhcdyaU I don't mean to brag, but I just ate a sandwich without taking a picture if it first.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/5r3uiX35 I'm so happy I'm not as cool as you. Because then I'd be a huge fucking asshole.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

No, YOUR incapable of properly employing the second-person possessive pronoun. http://t.co/7PyHdEJu

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

http://t.co/dWCQZCcS The perfect kiss and the perfect high five are indistinguishable emotionally.

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

菠菜是好物~

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

窗外呼嚕呼嚕, 肚子居然咕嚕咕嚕起來, 真是寂寥~

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

@kueiling 只能讓你繼續殘念了~哈利波特拿來就不會殘念!

[Momoweng @Momoweng]

傻啦,各位!