The MotherOne

I can fold fitted sheets. So..... I'm totally lying. I don't do it properly.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

When mom bladder doesn't let you finish singing Armageddon Aerosmith in the car 😭😭😭

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@MaraWilson Can't watch it. Feels like it will bring me back to Marley and me which I couldn't handle. Can't handle dog flicks. Homeward bound ruined me

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@DanKCharnley So you're in you're 30's without kids?

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@SHO_PR @stevehowey @emmyrossum @shanolahampton @IsidoraGore @SHO_Shameless @Showtime To be in this elevator and just smile with you....

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@DanKCharnley This is the best one I've seen. Hands down.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Every now and then I realize how much I've wasted my existence not being a psychologist and a comedienne.

[Sara Livadeas @saralivadeas]

I don't know any woman in my friendship group who has NOT been sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives #MeToo #Newsnight

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@BKFUniversity Do it!! Start it!!

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@Corey_Feldman so glad you're finally being taken seriously. Thank you for never giving up.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

I think the thing I appreciate most about #TWD is how dedicated Andrew Lincoln is to that southern accent.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Ideas for how to dress my 11yo daughter as a "huge disappointment" for Halloween. #Halloween #costumeidea #funnykid #likemotherlikedaughter

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Her source detonated on 2/14/16. Took til 12/2016 to end her world. #SheWasntWrong #ElaineIsMonica #shameless #ghostbusters #mindblown

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

@TheNewDomShow Can't be brave without being scared, and fear is definitely a great weakness.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

If Sophia is a princess, why does she always wear the same dress every day? And if royalty can do it why can't I? #toddlermomthoughts

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Nothing worse than stale butterfinger in your blizzard on an already craptastic day. Thanks @DairyQueen for keeping my day consistent.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Thank god for #kotex pads... said every mom binge drinking beer ever. #momlife

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Eat today like you're going to find out your gluten intolerant tomorrow. #foreverfat

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

Know what's really gonna kill me in the end? Lunchmeat. Let's just be honest.

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

I wear black to hide the red wine drips and splashes. However, it's not so good for baby snot. #thestruggleisreal

[The MotherOne @Momster_1]

I have a feeling the only way I'm truly gonna get this house clean is with a 4 day weekend alone and uppers from the 70's #momlife #nolife