Those fake #Pinterest bitches with their fake #Gapkids force me to blog about real life mom shit because you deserve to know the truth about the #momsterlife.
Dear @Walmart
You would make my trip to your store with 5 kids much more enjoyable if you had an open bar and a daycare. This would make me happy and happy moms spend more money. Your welcome.
The Momster Queen
#momsterlife#mommyblogger#motherhood#momlife#parenting#mom
Thanks Mom! I'm so happy you taught my kids this.
πΆ McDonald's is your kind of place
Hamburgers in your face
French fries between your toes
Dill pickles up your nose
And what about those shakes?
Made from polluted lakes!
#momsterlife#oldie#momlife#paybacks#grandma#McDonalds
Waiter: Is there something wrong with your salad?
Me: Well, it's missing the lettuce.
Waiter: Oh my. I'm going to show this to the cooks this in unacceptable.
Me: I'm pretty sure they saw it when they made it but maybe not.
#momsterlife#momlife#parenting#momsnightoutfail#mom