#Momsterlife

Those fake #Pinterest bitches with their fake #Gapkids force me to blog about real life mom shit because you deserve to know the truth about the #momsterlife.

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Dear @Walmart
You would make my trip to your store with 5 kids much more enjoyable if you had an open bar and a daycare. This would make me happy and happy moms spend more money. Your welcome.

The Momster Queen

#momsterlife #mommyblogger #motherhood #momlife #parenting #mom

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

I'm back bitches!
#momsterlife #comeback #WednesdayVibes

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Thanks Mom! I'm so happy you taught my kids this.
🎶 McDonald's is your kind of place
Hamburgers in your face
French fries between your toes
Dill pickles up your nose
And what about those shakes?
Made from polluted lakes!
#momsterlife #oldie #momlife #paybacks #grandma #McDonalds

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Because #froglivesmatter! #momsterlife #momlife #motherhood #frogs #nature #countryboy #boys #futuredoctor #cpr #parenthood #summer #cutest #mommyblogger #adventures

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

You have strep and you have strep and you my kind sir have strep too. It's the only thing the kids actually do share.
#momsterlife #motherhood #momlife #germs #strepthroat #sharing #parenting #summersickness #mommyblogger

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Grandma's way of saying "Get the F out!":
It's been nice seeing you but it's time to get your kids and go home.
Me: But we've only been here 15min.
#momsterlife #motherhood #kids #parenting #grandmas #home #family #mommyblogger #memories #granny #parenthood

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

4yo: Mommy I need some of that #campfirecolonge on.
Me: I'm fresh out but I got sunscreen.
4: It's not as cool but I guess it will do.
#momsterlife #hillbilly #countryboy #parenthood #boys #sunscreen #summerfun #cologne #mommy #demunjones #ryanupchurch #countrylife

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Horrific moment 127 of being a mom of a boy:
Finding a seed tick on his penis that has decided to set up camp and grab a little snack.
#momsterlife #motherhood #countryboy #countrylife #parenting #nature #moments #boys #ticks

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Give me your best parenting advice in 5 words or less. And.......GO!!!
#momsterlife #motherhood #parentingadvice #parenting #parenthood #mom #dad #mothers #mommyblogger #best

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Why don't I ever post anything on my parenting blog???
I'm too busy being a parent and my damn kids are using all the wifi.
#momsterlife #mommyblogger #truth #parenting #fail #blog #wifi #motherhood #momlife

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

When a child complains of their stomach hurting a real mothers response will always be "when's the last time you pooped?"
#momsterlife #motherhood #reallife #mothers #parenting #poop #momproblems #mommyblogger #momlife

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Those 3 seconds when the sink, dishwasher & washer/dryer are all empty is....well it was amazing. #momsterlife #motherhood #cleaning #chores #momlife #parenthood #laundry #dishes #amazing

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

He even put up his pinky finger!!!!
#momsterlife #motherhood #parenting #parenthood #kids

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

My 12yr old learned a valuable lesson today. Never tell your siblings the word "ointment" really makes you cringe.
#momsterlife #motherhood #kids #cringe #siblings #lifelessons #annoyed #funtimes

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

I had all intentions on being a good mom today and then my kids woke me up.
#momsterlife #motherhood #parenthood #parenting #goodintentions #mom #mothers #mommyblogger #kids

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

What's parenting during summer break like?
It's a relentless shitstorm!
#momsterlife #momlife #motherhood #summerbreak #parenting #momtruth #parenthood

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

What kind of mom am I? Well, I put the "kind" in "kind of."
#momsterlife #funnykids #momlife #parenthood #parenting #kidart #motherhood

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Waiter: Is there something wrong with your salad?
Me: Well, it's missing the lettuce.
Waiter: Oh my. I'm going to show this to the cooks this in unacceptable.
Me: I'm pretty sure they saw it when they made it but maybe not.
#momsterlife #momlife #parenting #momsnightoutfail #mom

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

I'm not a bad mom. And I'm not having a bad day. My kids are just little heathens.
#momsterlife #motherhood #parenting #kids #badmom #badday #badkids #mylife #parenthood #truth

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

Your favorite Mother's Day present you got this year and.......GO!
#momsterlife #motherhood #moms #mothersday2018 #momlife #mommyblogger #momsters #showitoff #presents

[#Momsterlife @Momsterqueen]

This is what real motherhood is like!
https://t.co/AjQPbhmuhx