Monkey

Daughter of a neurotic mother. Mother to a feral boy. Owner of 3 cats and a dog. Send gin immediately

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink My two love it and it’s the only time Bailey isn’t being terrorised by his sister Bella

[Bipolar UK @BipolarUK]

❗️ TW: this post mentions suicide
Today, on #WorldMentalHealthDay, we are launching our first ever campaign asking you, our community, to message your MP.
9.5 years to get a bipolar diagnosis is too long.
Take action to save lives >>
https://t.co/SLRqoeIiyu
#SaveBipolarLives

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink Standard 😂😂

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink Can you come over and train my two please???

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

The only thing better than a golden retriever is 2 golden retrievers 🥰 #baileyandbella

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink He has not yet matured into a fully fledged dick. This occurs around the age of 18-24 months old. You will be assured (lied to) by other golden owners that they will be less mental after 2. They won’t. My numpty is 3.5 - gorgeous, loveable but still a dick!

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

I wish there was a bipolar return centre where, once you’ve plummeted from the mania, you could drop off all the stuff you’ve bought and they’d sort out all the refunds. I’m looking at a lot of new stuff I don’t need/want and could do with the service

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink Mine always has underwear/socks preferably used or a shoe in his mouth. He also likes to present them to visitors as a gift 🤦‍♀️

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink My golden retriever usually ate some of a wall or skirting boards after that look. He was a weapon of mass destruction

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

My mum has had a fall. Actually my ridiculous retriever wiped her out with a zoomy. Either way she has broken her foot which has thrown a right spanner into Christmas fun and preparation 🤦‍♀️😩

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@HolyCrayons Definitely a wink

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink Mine never slept in his bed. I still try every now and again but he just eats them. He’s still a bit of a dick - but we love him

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

I’ve got 3 kids with me. You should never have more kids than hands

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

I’m at a soft play. You can almost hear the germs multiplying

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

I’m menopausal and am toasty warm. Heating remains off. They are all in fleeces with hot water bottles. I think that’s Fair as it’s easier to make them warmer than make me cooler

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@DrAmirKhanGP @LBC @SangitaMyska She was epic and so calm. For the record I was not calm listening to it

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@theJeremyVine Make it means tested

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@DoctorAMc I’m toasty warm. Heating remains off. They are all in fleeces with hot water bottles. Fair as it’s easier to make them warmer than make me cooler 👍🏼

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

Why did my body let me have a child at 40?? Menopausal rage and a smart mouthed 7yo are not a good fit!!!!

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@tinytwink All gorgeous 😍

[Monkey @Monkey_Shell]

@HolyCrayons Life goals