You're a monster if...

Surefire signs that you are, in fact, a monster.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You say "She's all yours" to the person waiting to use the stall after you.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You pronounce it bagel instead of bagel. You know which one is which, you monster.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

Your restaurant doesn't offer mints.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You refer to your pet as if it was your child.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You keep your phone on the ringer instead of vibrate.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You touch the belly of a pregnant woman who is not related to you.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You don't flash your headlights to warn oncoming cars of the cop you just passed.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You take a stroller into an indoor public attraction.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You listen to comedy podcasts at above 1x speed.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You have one of those bumper stickers that says... literally anything.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You pee standing up in a shared bathroom.

[You're a monster if... @MonsterCallOuts]

You flip through the channels instead of using the guide.