80

[80 @MontyNovak]

Pros of dating me: I can whistle, snap, swim, ride a bike, and do more than 10 push ups in one go.

Cons of dating me: I get violently angry when I’m drunk on a beer, doctors have no idea what’s going on with my pecker, i won’t talk about what happened on 11/4/2018

[80 @MontyNovak]

basketball would be a lot more fun and fair if the white people didn’t have to dribble the ball

[80 @MontyNovak]

when ur tryna shazam songs but there’s two loud ass homos at the table next to you yappin up a storm

[80 @MontyNovak]

pissing is the only consistent source of dopamine i got left

[80 @MontyNovak]

the pheromones r left at home - logan

[80 @MontyNovak]

sometimes people just look down at my crotch and i always get scared my pp is out

[80 @MontyNovak]

That was my local Dollar General. I didn’t steal from his local stores but he came to my town and stole from my local stores? Na that’s fucked

[80 @MontyNovak]

Problematic things my boy Matt has done [A THREAD]

[80 @MontyNovak]

THIEVERY
In 2019 he stole what I estimate to be over 1,000 dollars from a Dollar General in Wister, Oklahoma. He showed no signs of remorse

[80 @MontyNovak]

pisses me off that you don’t have control over where you die. Knowing that I could die in a walmart is so annoying.

[80 @MontyNovak]

@Meggolovania y

[Disgraced Propagandist @DisgracedProp]

the worst argument for getting sober I have ever seen

[80 @MontyNovak]

cum

[80 @MontyNovak]

no homo but yugioh was fuckin gay bro all he yugioh cards was a buncha gay ass little dudes

[80 @MontyNovak]

two separate dudes at work forgot my name and thought it was fucking “chris”.
I hate those odds. I hate the name Chris.
I’m tellin yall i’ve been at the end of my rope for awhile

[80 @MontyNovak]

@thenovanglus @CaribbeanRythms 🤓

[80 @MontyNovak]

@EpochInspired @hartgoat i would of got it done on my first or second attempt but not bad for a little kid.

[80 @MontyNovak]

@SupraDriftTV1 @deathink you just gotta trust, bro

[80 @MontyNovak]

the amount of times I hear a 🔥 ass song, shazam it and find out it’s SZA is 3.
And the amount of times i hear a fire ass song, think it’s probably another SZA banger, shazam it and find out it’s dua lippa is 2

[80 @MontyNovak]

when i see dudes post about not having a date on valentine’s day, i know they’re hoping for a manic pixie dream girl miracle. the hoes see it also