Name can't be blank

i can't find my tongue

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

Why does London have a wall ad for my dad's bathtub

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

Yes

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

She just fucked in there

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

When day shift barges in

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

This is supposedly the key to retaining healthcare workforce, and I can't say I disagree

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

Ummm

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

I don't know how to write or produce audio content, and I don't have any social media influence, but I do have a deep desire to hear ross sutherland narrate an episode of every anthology podcast I've ever listened to and, idk, maybe The Secret is real

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

@MarkForwardd per instructions in screenshot I am tweeting this at you https://t.co/1m8ZvOcHXI

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

If this motherfucker doesn't talk like Marge Gunderson I'm throwing it in a woodchipper

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

"you don't have to plank to be a good man, son"

"...i mean it's still better if you do, obviously"

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

workout for age 45-55: have a loving father

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

What if I'm the only one getting this. What if dynamic ads dynamically decided I'm the only sucker who'll buy maybe-handbags for moms this year. JOKE'S ON YOU, ALGORITHM i have no idea how to select an appropriate handbag for anyone

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

"it all started with mom" ~ every sponsored podcast in my feed describing itself for the last month

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

I don't even know what this ad is for. Handbags, maybe? If every single motherfucking mother doesn't get 16 handbags for mother's day this year, I guess advertisment as a concept is null and void

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

Even marketing emails feel obligated to temper my expectations

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

The singularity is near

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

@tworsandtwols (and the first to go would be the one who implied they weren't a real rock music rock band)

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

@tworsandtwols If these guys were still staring out the window of an abandoned WS storefront when the AI revolution began, I *guarantee* we'd both be dead by now

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

First thing I saw upon opening a newly purchased product, can you guess what it is

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

and once collected, can we please pay Matt Berry any amount of money to read them aloud

[Name can't be blank @Moon_Pantaloons]

i want a collection of the bits of intellectualist essays where the author inevitably tells a story of the time they interrupted a lecture and said some version of "whoa there professor smartbags, the truth is actually THIS, not the broadly accepted 'truth' that YOU just stated"