@rainbowmq3m and like showing the experience rather than explicitly describing/defining what’s happening, if that makes sense but tbf the simplicity could be the reason its working its js my preference at the end of the day and its ur poetry style
@rainbowmq3m Dw brah is deffo poetry, me personally i fw the repetition and the idea of it trying to convey a feeling of being trapped in an ouroboroslike loop i think like the falling motif works really well too, one thing imo is it could benefit from leaning more into the firstperson pov