Matt phillips

damn it, you've got to be kind.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

I’m sitting here wondering if its okay to have a doughnut for breakfast and then Facebook memories reminds me that 2017 Matt would be wondering why there’s only six doughnuts in a pack.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

So many people want money, fame or acceptance, I just want to meet an individual who doesn’t suck up to social norms in order to claim to be one.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

Can’t believe we’re only a few days out from doing the whole wedding thing, or as I like to call it “a big party with this little legal aspect we gotta get out of the way at the beginning”

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

“So when do I get to do it my way
When do I get to feel like Sid Vicious felt
When do I get to sing "My Way"
In heaven or hell”

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

Every time I think I’m close to dropping Netflix they put something like this out and draw me back in.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

“Be patient. Your future will soon come to you and lie down at your feet like a dog who knows and loves you no matter what you are.”- Kurt Vonnegut

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

You took this man away from me you absolute vile bastard and I hope you never see the light of day.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

@hodges_bailey Haha thanks man!! Miss you guys and the kart racing circuit

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

I thought it was going to be hot but I never threw up so fast… mistakes were made tonight between me and Eric

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

Day number two in the books on a great weekend! I don’t know what was the best part, breakfast, the wine or Cassidy and Linda mocking my smile. Love all these people!!!

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

There’s being happy and then there’s being happy for the rest of your life.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

Every time I watch Brooklyn 99 I have to remind myself @nicolebyer and @MrCraigRobinson aren’t actually related because they play it off so we’ll and they’re both so amazing!

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

I feel like in the time I’ve lived here I haven’t watched one quality episode of TV that didn’t include Dwight taking up 90% of the visual space

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

Definitely a great day to get out of the house yesterday

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

There are very few people who I consider influential in my comedy style but Trevor Moore was one of them. Can’t believe he’s gone but man he could make me laugh constantly.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

How are hospital gloves free!?

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

2012-2019 SkyZone era Matt really kinda sucked.
2018-2021 ProQuest era Matt really kinda sucks a lot less and that feels like a win.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

There’s breakfast and then there’s bacon bitch.

[Matt phillips @Mop94]

We thought norm would be crazy but here is the standoff.... he’s just so curious