Retarded Mom

A cougar? I'm not that scary.. Am I?

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

just love me back damn

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

im allowed to call myself ugly but you are not allowed to agree with me

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

some girls do a messy ponytail and look like magical fucking fairy princesses

i do a messy ponytail and i look like a damn founding father

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

just one of those days where everything annoys me

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

Fashion Inspired By Witches From American Horror Story: Coven - https://t.co/FBwZmAlHEa

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

"when women wear makeup they're basically lying to us"

i dont see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to think i have gold eyelids

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

im always hungry this is becoming a problem

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

i only go on the internet like once a day for approx 24 hours

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

i'm weird its like i dont care if i ignore your texts but i expect you to reply mine

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

i need new clothes man

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

u think i care

well you're delusional

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

its 2015 can we please have headphones that last more than 2 months

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

do you ever think about shit you did in the past and just go
why
the fuck
did nobody punch me in the face

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

do you ever just wear headphones so people won’t talk to you

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

Maybe J.K. Rowling is waiting until 2019 to write an 8th book so we can all say

"I DID MY WAITING!

TWELVE YEARS OF IT!!

IN AZKABAN!!!"

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

amount of naps i need: hella

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

my tweet was not about u... get over yourself

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

started from the bottom and i was somehow able to get lower

[Retarded Mom @MoreRetardedMom]

i am freezing someone please cuddle me or set me on fire either is fine