Jordan Belfort

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." | one time I brought a bag of chicken nuggets to a frat party

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@zakpayne10 @BestBuy Hey, watch it man.. text me and I’ll see if I can help you

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

Ah, fall in Minnesota. Where the Minnesota Vikings preseason reignites our hopes and dreams of winning a Super Bowl, only to inevitably be crushed in playoffs.

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

No? Haha imma head out

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

does anyone else have an irrational concern of having your windshield wipers on way faster than everyone else’s?

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@Malicepie @brittmmadi And she thinks she’s saving money but she’s paying for the same amount of drink regardless of whether she pours it in a larger glass or not. She’s not saving any money. She’s just getting another cup.

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@brittmmadi You’re not saving money.. you paid for the same amount of drink whether you put it in a bigger cup or not lol

[𝔸. 𝕤 @skankhunt006]

@brittmmadi

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

Did people skip chemistry? All that ice makes up the amount of liquid that makes the small drink fit the “same” in the large cup. Solid or liquid, the volume of the water is the same. Do people really not know that?

[Brittney Mohammadi @voodoobritt]

Starbucks is PLAYING all of us. Your welcome 🤪

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@zachyg125 ur trynna tell me all my ones that i drew a b and an r on to spell boner aren’t worth anything???

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@esmewang Grease - Frankie Valli
Yesterday - The Beatles
Live like you were Dying - Tim McGraw
God Love Her - Toby Keith

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@smokefreegenMN They’re too busy writing abortion laws

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@ashley_jfay Just paint them all, that way nobody will ever know

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

!!!!!!!

[joe heenan @joeheenan]

My daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house?
Me: Take your phone & text me every 20 minutes to tell me you’re ok

Me when I was 10: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals
Mum: Dinner’s at 5

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

@vinnynelson2012 There was a guy that commented on this on fb and said “yep that’s sad but what did the baby do to deserve to die?” ...

[Jordan Belfort @MorganMedved]

We live in a country where guns and the way a woman dresses are more important than rapists and birth control.