Morgan 강 Pearson

Comedian
Seoul🚀Mpls
1991 - Current
Insta@MorganPearsonDidIt

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

@supershayne Omg I spat out my fucking water !!

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

I don't apologize for being late. I state my thankfulness and appreciation for your patience. Apologizing for tardiness tells a person to blame you for the time their extra screen time. Appreciating them about it gives them positive praise for be nice over a small inconvenience.

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Brave walked so Everything Everywhere could run.
#Brave #Everythingeverywhere #Disney #Oscars

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Oh your "office for today" is a beautiful tropical view from the yacht you're on? Well my office has AC, fresh kool-aid, and all of my god damn underwear! #wfhchallenge #office

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

https://t.co/DXRDtqGSjG

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

https://t.co/NnucbXXrYL
#koreangirl #comedian #plussize

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

https://t.co/7CjSFdX9Q6

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

I want to hire a Period Sitter. You know, a nurse/nanny who babysits me while the lining of my uterine wall is ripped out of my body. #GirlyThoughts #period #menstruation

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

@STEVEPMP @vidsthatgohard This was 2 years ago during the riots here in Minneapolis. She's a local racist bigot. She showed up, with a knife, to only block and stab black people. She has 0 law enforcement experience. She's admitted hating black people and wanting to get hurt to sue and collect.

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Cearal is not soup. Lasagna is not cake. Pineapple belongs on pizza.
#pineapple #soup #cake

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

RomComs are coming-of-age tales for people in their 20s.

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Hot Take: Jack had to die because doors have no room for pedophiles.
#titanic25thanniversary

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

@fluffyguy Please check out my friend Dan!

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

When your date texts you something extra sexy
Millennials: Daamn, do you text your mother with those thumbs.

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

First a Pope.. now Jeremiah Green.. who's next? Blake Sennett?
#poped #PopeBenedictXVI #jeremiahgreen #boymeetsworld

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Centaur fact: They're hung like horses!

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Family: Are you sure you don't want kids?
Me: I couldn't commit to a 1 year lease with my ex bfs. Why on earth would I commit to 9 months to life.
Family: But you've had cats.
Me: Do I look like I pushed a cat out of my vagina and started a college fund!?

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

Even when you're not meaning to, your voice shakes the stars 🌟

[🔮✨ @TheOracleReadsU]

According to quantum physics a particle vibrating due to your sound when you speak can affect a molecule inside a star at the edge of the Universe instantly. This phenomenon is known as quantum entanglement. The greatest illusion of this Universe is the illusion of separation.

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

To All The Men I Never Kissed: I always wanted to find someone as attractive as you, but with a personality I actually like.
#kiss #dobetter #yesallwoman

[Morgan 강 Pearson @MorganPearsonIs]

I love that #Lamborghini puts money into holiday commercials. As if me watching a soup recipe on YouTube will turn into me buying a @Lamborghini for #Hanukkah.