Moriah Sitz

Professional cookie connoisseur, amateur mother and wife

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Those 3 seconds of pure bliss when I realize I haven’t done today’s Wordle yet. ❤️

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Time is the most precious thing you have. Don’t waste a single moment.
I just spent an evening photoshopping a piece of bread out of my sister’s teeth.

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

You know that scene on Star Wars where Darth Vader just *knows* when Luke or Leia is near or something… yeah that’s my baby in his crib when I finally settle into my bed at night.

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Apologies to anyone whose eyes were seared by the troll that hacked my Twitter yesterday, but I think I fixed it. Content will now return to Razorback retweets and mildly humorous quotes from my sister. Sorry to disappoint anyone.

[Arkansas Razorbacks 🐗 @ArkRazorbacks]

WOOO
PIG
SOOIE

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

*playing scrabble*
Me: “What am I going to do with four Es?”
Karisa: “Wheeee!”
#Karisaquote

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

How can we play soccer against whales when they don’t even have feet

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

@_k_riska 😒😒😒

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

According to one of my students, he knew I was (almost) in my 30s because “English teachers give off old vibes.” 😒😒😒

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

A guy just boarded my plane yelling, “Alabama lost!” and people cheered.

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

@ArkRazorbacks @RazorbackFB My grandpa was a lifetime Razorback fan. He told everyone he wanted to live to see Arkansas beat Alabama. He just knew this was the year! Last night he gave up the fight, so my grandma asked me to send a message - win tomorrow for Henry!

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Me: annoyed I have to feed my newborn every 2 hours
Also me: looking for a snack every 30 minutes

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Shaved my legs. Got razor burn. Used peppermint lotion. Ruined my day.

[translated cats @TranslatedCats]

A kitten completely melted after receiving a spa.https://t.co/bB69fFVJRI

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

@_k_riska Wait til he’s coming out of you.

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

@trashleylauren 💀

[kathleen @kathleen_hanley]

me finding out the choco taco is being discontinued even though i can’t remember the last time i had one

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

@trashleylauren I’m pretty sure my husband and I could share shoes. Also 🤢

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Today my mother casually replaced the term “fender bender” with “bumper booper.” I noticed.

[Moriah Sitz @MoriahSitz]

Y’all say a prayer for my husband. He just said, “Oh, is that what you’re wearing?” before we walked out the door.