Mormon Engineer

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

I don't know if you've ever been in an adult bookstore... (TBC)

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

Snuck a soda in today

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

4chan has gotten really mild lately. It's been pretty dissapointing

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"Dude in my family, I swear, I'm gonna be so tired of looking at tits.. people need to learn to put their clothes on"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"You know whats really cool? My wife's mom died when she was 8, so I don't have to put up with in-laws"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"i don't do the whole oral sex thing, just 2 minutes then you're done" --WOW..TMI much??

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"cremation is a good method for tattoo removal" In case you were wondering

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"That's not entirely true, married women see flacid penises..."

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

@jasonpoemusic "what's gonna happen to the jews?"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"I have burnt popcorn. Which smell do you choose, burnt popcorn or farts?"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"The reason Unix is gay.. is because you can 'man mount' but there is no 'man woman'" --Awesome

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"took two benadryl last night.. fell asleep in the car.. woke up with junglebugs all over me!"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"i know so many people who want multiple wives… that said, if i took over earth i'd have a harem"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

'With "Kasmir" by Led Zeppelin playing in the background' "...Now this is music you can have sex too."

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"Van Dam is soo hot, he's way better than Chuck Norris"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"we were going to the strip club, so i had to make sure to change out of my shorts"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"Rule number two.. the client always lies"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"I don't believe in banks..."

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"It's like being a porn director... white noise and big balls"

[Mormon Engineer @MormonEngineer]

"When I used to work at Motorola, I had a lot of stiff guys working under me. From India, you know." --no, no we don't