Flavor Country

Exploring higher consciousness while healing from toxic religious shame. New episodes every Tuesday!

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

The weird thing about being in your 40’s is remember that creepy old guy from that movie you watched when you were a teenager? Same dude is now the creepy old guy from the new show you like, only you’re now the age he was when he first showed up as the creepy old guy.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I can’t name a more accurate depiction of corporate cronyism and “good ol’ boy” networking than when David Wallace hired Jim to be co-manager.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Santa Cruz is the place

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I don’t know what face to make when standing in line.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Forget the politics, identity, and beliefs of all these shooters, let’s do math instead.

Solve for X:

Ideology + Mental Illness + X = Mass Shootings

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I’ve learned that when I assume, I end up…usually right.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Dear “patriots” with Trump flags flying from the back of your trucks, you literally look like Taliban dorks from every fucking American war hero movie I’ve ever seen. You are the fucking villains, you absolute nerds.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Ja, Luka, Zion, Fox, Ant…all this promise of the future and yet, either Lebron or Steph will be in the Western Conference Finals.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Gerard Butler is the most watchable actor on the planet. I don’t know what else to tell you.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

“Newsies” is about homeless orphan children unionizing for better work conditions at their job of newspaper sales.

Republicans in this country see Newsies and…

…checks notes…

…side with the villains?!?

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Ironically, it’s painfully obvious that the dudes who are anti-LGBTQ+ clearly suck dick at eating pussy.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I got hammered on Friday and spent the weekend sleeping off a hangover. I rose refreshed and recovered today to the astonishment of friends and prostitutes.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I am so sick and tired of cancel culture. You can’t do or say anything these days without some snowflake getting their feelings hurt.

Anyway, please join me in boycotting Bud Light for changing the color of their cans.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

It is WILD how the “Love One Another” guy has become some sort of gun-toting Yosemite Sam character, angry about the boner he gets when Bugs Bunny wears a dress.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Slow down. Fall back to me.
Time stalls, I have no words to say.
Who cares? You can see right through me.
I’m yours today.
I’m yours today.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

I really thought my Gatorade was rocking the Angel Moroni for a second there

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Sit Boo-boo, sit. Good dog. Ruff!

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Bus your own table. But also, the opening for our garbage can is slightly smaller than the size of our trays. Good luck dumping your shit and feeling like an idiot about the mess you’ve made trying to dump your trash, you fucking idiot.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

Everyone says the internet is toxic and will lead to the fall of humanity but all it ever does to me is recommend half naked women and old Kobe Bryant highlights and frankly, that’s all I want.

[Flavor Country @MormsOnShrooms]

My drug free friends roll their eyes when I puff and say “time is just a construct, man,” but then have no problem waking up this morning and being like, “yeah, we did 2 am twice last night and now it’s an hour later than it was at this time yesterday.”