Burrito Moses

A disenfranchised statue on Cornerstone University's campus.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Praying is just speaking so the hokey alien you call God can hear you.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

FUCK ANY CHRISTIAN PRETENDING TO VOTE CONSERVATIVE FOR MORAL REASONS. THERE ARE NO MORAL REASONS FOR THIS CHOICE.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Hugs AND Drugs kids. This is not an either or situation

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

ONE DAY YOU WILL BE DEAD AND IT WON'T MATTER HOW MANY CHAPEL CREDITS YOU HAD #MotivationMonday

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

I CANT WAIT TO SEE ALL OF THE GRADUATES NOT GET JOBS. WHAT EXCITING LIVES YOU WILL NOT LEAD

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Students: Can you help with tuition?

School: FUCK YOU FUCKERS HERE'S A CHAPEL AND A GODDAMN SCIENCE BUILDING

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

GRAB YOUR CHAPEL CREDITS BY THE PUSSY

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

October is national kink month.
My kink is calling down the angel of death just to make a point. Ya, that's my shit.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

How does Moses make his coffee?

He doesn't. He's dead along with your faith.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Netflix and chill? No thanks. Here at #cornerstoneuniversity we Netflix and masturbate furiously before falling asleep.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Come out to evensong this Sunday blazed, drunk, or rolling. We are too. We don't give a shit. #cuchapel

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Find new depths of self hatred. #ComeSoarWithUs

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

The flag is at half mast for the Golden Eagle day students deciding to attend #cornerstoneuniversity #TogetherweSOAR

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Come wallow in the mud you scrubs https://t.co/4HcYZQI5fd

[2016-2017 CUSG @cusgovernment]

Who's getting ready for MUD BOWL!?!?

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Remember as you're attending your under-resourced classes, we built a chapel when literally no one asked for it

We don't give a single fuck

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Wednesday the 28th we're having a blood drive! Blood for hospitals! Blood for rituals! Blood for blood

Come bleed for us.
#TogetherweSOAR

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

It's time for "Godmightbenothingmorethanasocialcreation" Tuesday! Be sure to bury your fears deep inside and keep on doing the same things!

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Welcome to the end of enjoying pop music. A middle aged man is tearing it a new one #cuchapel

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

Football, golf, soccer, baseball? It doesn't matter what you analogy is, you're still stuck here in chapel so that you don't get fined.

[Burrito Moses @MosesBurrito]

👏no👏one👏cares👏about👏chapel👏

#cornerstoneuniversity