BostonMom

(Read in Boston Accent)
How's ya mom?

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Girl talk and a box of wine with my ladies. The kids will be late for school tomorrow. 🍸😏

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

That awkward moment when I stab my ex boyfriend in front of his mother #mobproblems

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Cinco de Mayo is in a few days... Celebrating with a bag tortilla chips, a pitcher of margaritas, and Juan, the pool boy.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

My Christmas present

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

#shitisaidincollege #lifeaftermyfirstdivorce

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Drinkin a mad dog and reminiscing about my first husband.... but legally we don't want to get into that.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Scheduled my monthly deep condition with Tony, my stylist. I'm shedding like my favorite child, my precious Pomeranian, Coco.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Today when I was looking in the mirror I saw a woman that looked just like my mom except prettier.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Passing out my business card to nannies in Central Park.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

delicious + luscious ..... Delucious ;)

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

By the way, Louis my yoga instructor taught me what yoga stands for, "yaaaa ohhh God again"

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

All I ask for this week, is for my kids to leave me alone, nobody to wake me up, and for everyone to pretend I'm nobody's mother.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Does anyone know how to get red wine out of a bottle?

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Stuffing my face with Pepperidge Farm.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

The attack of the Boston moms.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

It may be an American holiday, but it doesn't stop me from drinking my foreign liquor.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

Today's all red white and blue, but if my mother in law fucks up my martini, she's gonna be black and blue.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

I'm gonna start drinking my coffee through a straw so I don't discolor my teeth... but then again it's a good excuse to see my dentist, Leo.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

I even attract the canines.

[BostonMom @MotherOfBoston]

I don't celebrate fathers day because that means one for every one of my kids.