Matthew Johnston

Not so young, probably broke, and Asian.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

@away Will you be making the far backpack in atomic celery?

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Upgraded our WiFi router today. All our devices are like “New router, who dis?”.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Josh Hawley is now the kid in school that nobody takes seriously and who the teachers ignore when his hand is raised. Good luck in the Senate Josh.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Haven’t been on Twitter for years but now that all the hardcore Trump supporters are deleting the app, I feel this is the best time to come back.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Hey @tim_cook If you can't get the fingerprint scanner under the screen for iPhone 8 just put it in the Apple logo on back.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

#playmorebehappy

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Barely any snow and now I'm stuck on I 70 because of 2 wrecks

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Can I get a sticker when I donate to the salvation army so they don't look at me like a scumbag when I walk by the bell ringers again?

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

I forgot how good the first season of dexter is. Now I remember why its the best.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

I forgot how much getting up this early sucks.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

Went to the doctor today and he says my leg is healing amazingly and incredibly well.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

The twittering twit tweeted his tongue straight towards a twister.

[Matthew Johnston @Mottymoto]

@CaptainFrannie I'm still setting it all up. Give me a break lady.