Danny Cerullo

Almost had a job at a PetCo once. didn't work out.

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

@jasonrh_78 Elon must be suppressing my views. Only explanation

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Replay in the all-star game, which if anyone recalls is a fucking exhibition game, is stupid and I hate it.

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Guy at work started calling me Chris and I never corrected him. So anyway, my name's Chris now

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

I think, as a people, it might do us good to start focusing less on plot. It's a storytelling device, and sure a pretty important one, but just one of many

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

I know there are probably more moves coming, but blowing past the luxury tax threshold for Miguel Rojas after passing on much better players all offseason is maybe the funniest Dodger news in a long long time

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Okay, sitting out the winter meetings and then signing Jason Heyward to a minor league deal is objectively the funniest thing the Dodgers could have done

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

@jasonrh_78 I hope he farts on a snare drum

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Twitter being gone is honestly going to do wonders for my mental health, but I'm still gonna miss all you fucking weirdos

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Congratulations to the Houston Astros on their first ever championship

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Death, taxes, my 77 year old father bitching about launch angle in any baseball conversation

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

There might be such a thing as too much fiber

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

I just spelled someone's name wrong in an email so now I'll be thinking about that for the next 17 years

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

@EmploYeezy They clinched a playoff spot but not the division yet

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

If the Dodgers don't jump in the pool after clinching in the next couple days then they're dead to me

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

@jasonrh_78 I sadly will not be attending a potential clinching game. However I am thinking about popping over to see them play the Padres this weekend. And yes, I'll absolutely be jumping in the pool, and urinating in said pool

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

America's officially too crazy for Ozzy Osbourne. We've peaked guys

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

So if I'm reading the Democrats plan correctly, they're going to keep suspending student loan payments and use it as a campaign tool (Republicans are going to turn payments back on, vote for us!) Cool. Way to go

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

@joshbelville Thwarted you again Belville!

[Danny Cerullo @MountCeruvius]

Found out yesterday I probably don't have cancer. So that's some pretty rad news! I'll find out for sure in a few days, but I'm just gonna go ahead and cash that no-cancer check