Peter Bonerz (parody)

Born Portsmouth NH, Educated Marquette U, Actor, Director, Accomplished Lapidarist, Professional Baseball Manager. Vaguely euphemistic.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@ThatEricAlper It’s All In the Game/You Know What They’re Writing About, off of Into the Music.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

Liberate the kiwi.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

What opinion about heat treatment, irradiation, and fracture filling in modern lapidary makes you feel like this?

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@CodifyBaseball If you’re retired and your career batting average is .299, you were really good but in the final analysis you’re a poseur. I’m sorry. It was all on the line in your final at-bat. And you failed.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@malmesburyman Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@VinnysCorner1 David Whitehurst

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@PopcornPost_

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@HawkEmDownChris

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

One of the reasons the Memphis Freedom are 20-6.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

3. Find a Sleeper. Looking at the rosters of every Major League ball club and the statistical trends of each player over the last 5 years, identify the top 5 players who have consistently underperformed the rest of the league and who may be amenable to better coaching.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

Claude AI is great for professional baseball managers. If that’s you, bookmark this post. Here are 3 prompts that have transformed my ability to manage my ball club.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

2. Field the Best Squad. Here is my current roster of Major League ball players [insert]. Utilizing your understanding of their zodiac signs and overall vibes gathered from your assessment of fan message boards and media accounts, select my starting lineup and batting order.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

The Memphis Freedom stats so far this season. 15-3 record. 118 runs scored. 56 runs allowed. Run differential +62. Next closest team is +20. Batting .305. ERA 3.06. Ace Hunter Brown is 4-0 with a 0.62 ERA and 0.76 WHIP. And our new ballpark TCB Burger is selling like crazy.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

Though I am an accomplished lapidarist, sometimes even I come across a find that I don’t recognize. I picked this little guy near my favorite walking path. Looks like a lab-grown ruby. (Pardon the glove. I’m battling an outbreak of Morgellon’s Disease on my right hand.)

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

The Memphis Freedom, the professional baseball team that I manage, is off to an 11-2 start. Performance has been so good up and down the roster that it is hard to single out a top performer. Last night it was Hunter Brown, who held the North Siders to 5 hits and 1 run.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

We will soon bring the fight against Big Rosin to the United Nations. Major League Baseball, the American Bowling Congress, and USA Gymnastics should not support the rosin mining conglomerates that are draining our lakes and streams for virgin rosin substrate.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@Hutz39063656 Bob has always looked great in a raincoat.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

The Memphis Freedom, the professional baseball team that I manage, has started the season 7-0. But my heart is with the good people of Milwaukee, where the impact of climate change is now so pervasive that the street department can’t even clear the curbs and gutters of debris.

[Peter Bonerz (parody) @MpsFreedomMgr]

@DominoRxxx And we got no place to stay.