The Canadian Premier League Final in Ottawa was played as temperatures dropped to −8°C. Snow kept delaying the match, with field lines being cleared every 15 minutes. Insane.
Move to Texas and get a job as a brisket jockey at your local Buc-ee’s. Slice that meat thin enough and you’ll be promoted to brisket jockey supervisor in no time. Buy a cookie cutter house in the new development 30 mins away. You might even meet a nice girl who works as a cashier at your local Whataburger. It could all be so simple, anon.