Murderbot

@Arsenal lover, exhausted Nigerian, pre-emptive blocker of eejits

[Murderbot @MrBure]

During my dad's funeral, I heard that my aunts were talking about my mum's hair and the cutting thereof. They were saying something along the lines of, "If she refuses to cut it herself, we will come and cut it for her."
Now, in the lead up to the funeral, I somehow became seen

[Murderbot @MrBure]

I completely understand why someone taking a Ryanair flight might decide to get properly blitzed beforehand.

[David Luhnow @davidluhnow]

In the U.K., having a pint—or three—before a morning flight is a tradition as sacred as Sunday roast. Ryanair’s CEO thinks it’s time to sober up.

https://t.co/n7M5f1LyYw via @WSJ

[Murderbot @MrBure]

@tundeleye @Chxta The breeze wey pass ya ear just now na shoe

[Murderbot @MrBure]

In Man of Steel, even after Lois shouted this man's government name for everybody to hear multiple times, and even after the Kryptonians only visited ONE farm and tore it to shreds, they still wanted us to believe that the US Government had no idea who this nigga really was?

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Why am I not surprised? https://t.co/PMeICpq3ZN

[Murderbot @MrBure]

In a world where there's Boris Johnson and Liz Truss? Get bent

[Essex Patriot @Essex_Patriot]

The whole of the UK agrees

[Murderbot @MrBure]

In a sane country, the government responsible for this mess wouldn't dare dream of re-election.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

@cocojavu @duchessbidex Nigeria is working EXACTLY as its designers intended.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

@MallamSawyerr They are mad, but it's fine. It would have been nice to get this UCL monkey off our backs, but we have an EPL trophy to parade.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

I can't do this, man.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

'twas a nice run. Had to close out someday

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Raya has never given me confidence at penalties

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Are we defending for a shootout?

[Murderbot @MrBure]

@anafricandiva Ahhhhh! I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Omo, Timber isn't fit at all. Probably shouldn't have made the squad.

[Murderbot @MrBure]

On which planet was that not a penalty?

[Murderbot @MrBure]

WHUTTTTTT?????

[Murderbot @MrBure]

@aishaimani I say e don see alert

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Ref don see alert

[Murderbot @MrBure]

PSG are going to score

[Murderbot @MrBure]

Havertz looks tired