Plzfirejohnharbaugh

Fruitier than fruity pebbles

[Brian 🍄 @Is_Not_Brian]

Athletes are the only rich people on earth who actually earn all of their money without exploiting anyone.

[g 🌊 @wkndupdater]

bro ur telling me THE POPE quoted LORD OF THE RINGS in an ANTI AI MESSAGE and we ARENT getting stephen colbert’s take on it????

[Here's What I Reckon: @angryaboutbikes]

My wife spent an entire year taking on extra work and smashing all her targets so that she could ask for a pay rise, they actually gave her one and then literally 2 days later our landlord put up our rent by more than the raise because he decided it was time to be paid more money

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Stephen Colbert got his band to play licensed music during his final show so CBS would be sued for using the music illegally.

“Oh no! I hope this doesn't cost CBS any money!”

[Thomas Massie for Congress @MassieforKY]

I did not see this coming, but my election has become an inflection point for our whole country. Today we make history.

Will you be part of this historic day by voting, calling friends who can vote, posting to social media, or making a donation?

Spread the word fellow patriots!

[Graham Platner for Senate @grahamformaine]

If Donald Trump tries to confirm a Supreme Court justice in his final two years, Senate Democrats must follow The McConnell Rule™

[sexpert @sahib14384912]

euphoria having cassie do rightwing ragebait to promote her OF is unfortunately a very astute observation

[deaf kennedys @thamosdeaf]

I like that building high speed rail in California requires nine thousand years of environmental impact studies but throwing up a data center the size of Texas takes fourteen seconds with zero material public support.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

The Trump administration is closing the office responsible for investigating misconduct and abuse in the immigration detention system, per an email obtained by HuffPost

[Jacob Calvin Meyer @jcalvinmeyer]

On June 20, 2024, the Orioles crushed the Yankees for a 17-5 win in the Bronx.

Mike Elias later referenced June 2024 as when the Orioles were "on top of the sport in almost every facet."

Baltimore was 49-25 following that win after going 101-61 the year before. The organization also had a top-ranked farm system.

Since that win, the Orioles went 42-46 to finish the 2024 campaign, 75-87 last season, and are now 15-19 this year after three straight losses to the Yankees.

In total, that is a 132-152 record. That is a .465 winning percentage — or a 75-win pace over a 162-game season.

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

> be The Onion

> spend $1M to license Infowars for a year plus another $1M in attorney fees

> hire Tim Heidecker - one of the greatest comic actors alive - to parody Alex Jones

> his Jones impression is flawless

> forget to write jokes

[Jeff Zrebiec @jeffzrebiec]

Minter said that DL Calais Campbell will be in the building this coming week to finalize deal and get going. Minter said he was “stoked” by idea of bringing Campbell back to Baltimore.

[Baltimore Ravens @Ravens]

That purple looks good on @vegaioane17 😈

[Jeff Zrebiec @jeffzrebiec]

Ravens have also signed 4th round WR Elijah Sarratt.

[Nico @elitetakes_]

- Trey Hendrickson
- Nnamdi Madubuike
- Travis Jones
- Zion Young
- Calais Campbell
- Mike Green

All of a sudden, the Ravens have a multitude of guys who can pressure QBs & plug the run. Add in the Jesse Minter effect… Should be tremendously improved from last year

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Six-time Pro-Bowl DE Calais Campbell, who played in Baltimore from 2020-2022, is returning to sign a one-year deal with the Ravens, per source. Campbell will 40 on Sept. 1 and this will be his 19th NFL season.

[Jeff Zrebiec @jeffzrebiec]

Zion Young said that Ravens CB Nate Wiggins is one of his best friends and he's known him since he was a kid. They were HS teammates.

[The Hormuz Letter @HormuzLetter]

BREAKING: Iran's IRGC says that if Trump carries out his Strait of Hormuz blockade, Iran will respond by taking control of the Bab el-Mandeb Strait through the Houthis, per Press TV.

[Captain Obvious™️ @TheFungi669]

Marco Rubio: “Just because you’re born on U.S. soil doesn’t make you a citizen. Your parents must be U.S. citizens.”

Grok: “Marco Rubio was born in Miami in 1971. His parents became citizens in 1975. Rubio is a beneficiary of birthright citizenship.”

[adam @resurrecti0ns]

the obvious reason nobody has tried this is that those movies were a genuine miracle and every remotely self-aware director knows they'd never be able to even come close