Paul David Collins

Man, husband, father, pessimist & stand-up (not strictly in that order). 'Like a rain-cloud in human form'. Tried optimism briefly in 2002 but didn't like it.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

Proudly showing my support by rolling one leg of my pyjama bottoms up like Rice taking a free kick #ENGGHA

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@NadBadDangerous Cosplaytriot

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@MisterABK @GuanoLad Licensed to quill

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@MisterABK Gotta say, that couple look like they might be quite closely related...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

This app lies to me multiple times a day... #fakenews

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@TomTugendhat @DanJarvisMBE Classy.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@UKUpdates_co_uk @reformparty_uk No, Dolphin for the win.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@OFalafel That should catch any spilled Salacious's...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@KnutCrosswords The full Royal package...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

Opens Twitter.
Looks at trending topics.
Sighs.
Closes Twitter.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@NadineDorries 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@Exploding_Heads I'll have crack at Spikle, lads...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

Chin, or tongue? #Trump

[Viv Groskop @VivGroskop]

🌻 Announcing my new book One Ukrainian Summer, a memoir about Russia and Ukraine in the early 1990s. Out May 23 with ⁦@IthakaPress⁩. All author proceeds go to ⁦@pen_int⁩ 🌻Pre-order: https://t.co/TSPlLhbC3R

[Sarah Maginness @sarahmaginness]

Hello. My name is Ross from Traitors. You killed my mother. Prepare to die. #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

TFW you ask for a pet, but aren't specific enough...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@elisjames The single most sinister bit is MARTHA'S GOT PLENTY...

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@MarinaHyde @richardosman There is a certain delicious irony here that there are millions of people who are only learning about Joey Barton for the first time now because of his attitude to the infinitely more iconic Mary Earps. For them he is just the 'cock in a box' guy.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

@nemo20000 Leave it, it's not worth it Nemo you slaaaag.

[Paul David Collins @MrLemonDrizzle]

Sooz Kempner here either doing God's work, or livetweeting a terrible fever dream . It's honestly hard to tell.
Festive game: Drink every time she says 'OOP'.