Matthew English

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

The next M3GAN doll should be a twink.

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

@RobertKennedyJr The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

@GovKemp “…today is not the day for politics”

Then set a date. Get it on your calendar, coward. How about Thanksgiving? No kids can be shot in school because everyone’s got the day off. That’s the best safety from school shootings you can promise them at this moment.

#pathetic

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

This makes me feel much better about the sinking of the Titanic… it could have been so much worse!

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Thread on the real size of things 🧵

1. Titanic compared to a modern cruise ship

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

If you drive a Tesla, you shouldn’t get Labor Day off

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

If you voted for Ronald Reagan, just about any other Republican, or if you stan Howard Shultz, you shouldn’t get Labor Day off.

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

#openingceremony

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

What in the Westworld is this animatronic horse?

[Rap Game Ina Garten @KaraBTweets]

Where this bitch at #OpeningCeremony

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

Flaming Pianos are FRENCH!!!???!!&$&)?!

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

The Final Countdown is FRENCH?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

#justiceforpita

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

PITA IS NOT IN PARIS. #JusticeForPita

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

Let the man Kayak

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

Bicycles are FRENCH?!?

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

The minions are FRENCH?

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

@MilaLovesJoe “As a white woman, I didn’t experience any racism in the 70’s and 80’s”

Rewrote it for you to capture the fact that this is YOUR experience.

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

Hey hey hey… who says it was a Biden supporter? This is giving big Kristi Noem supporter energy. #dogshooter

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

@blairewhite Dodged the bullet like he dodged the draft.

[Matthew English @MrMattEnglish]

@blairewhite *happily fucking myself*