My dog needs to learn to chew with his mouth closed. I had to explain to everybody on my Zoom meeting that the resounding crunching sound they heard was my dog snacking on the pork cracklings I gave him.
While watching the game last night, my dog got on the couch and laid his head on my chest. I thought he wanted to cuddle. A moment passes and he started licking the spot on my shirt where I had spilled some food and he started nibbling at me for any stray crumbs. That little...🫤
Whenever I pick up fast food I make sure to get something for my dog. I feel less guilty for having an unhealthy diet if someone is on the journey with me.
I think there’s something wrong with my closet. All my clothes keep on shrinking and nothing fits. I bet there’s a portal to a world where a younger and thinner me lives. 🤨
If I'm in the kitchen for more that 2 minutes my dog will join me to see what's going on. He'll follow me around with a concerned look on his face. I like to think he's just making sure I'm all right, but we both know the truth. He's hoping it's snack time.
My dog is like a nosy neighbor. The other night, we woke up at 3 am to the sounds of the neighbors arguing. My dog stares out the window towards the noise and just gives low disapproving grunts and barks. Dude, I want to know what’s going on too but try not to be obvious. 🤨🐶
Me: Tosses ball into the air to my dog.
My dog: Let’s ball bounce on the ground and then watches it roll away.
Me: Tosses a pork rind.
My dog: Snatches it out of the air with the grace of Derek Jeter.
Experts say that your dog follows you into the bathroom because you're a member of its pack and it wants to protect you. My dog follows me because he wants to make sure he doesn't miss out on a snacking opportunity. You know, just in case I'm eating in the bathroom in secret.
THEN: Run a half marathon. Party and drink all weekend. Sleep a total of 4 hours. Get up at 5 on Monday ready to start over again.
NOW: Spend weekend working around the house. Need multiple breaks. Didn’t finish everything. Need Aleve on Monday just to move around. #agingsucks
I gotta slow down using these food delivery services. My dog runs to the door whenever he hears my phone’s message notification go off because he thinks something yummy is coming. I can’t handle the look of disappointment on his face when he realizes no food is coming.
We thought of him as stricken, struck down by God and afflicted, But he was pierced for our sins, crushed for our iniquity. He bore the punishment that makes us whole, by his wounds we were healed. – Isaiah 53:4-5
Bless the house of your servant, that it may be in your presence forever—since you, Lord GOD, have promised, and by your blessing the house of your servant shall be blessed forever. – 2 Samuel 7:29
He will destroy death forever. The Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces; The reproach of his people he will remove from the whole earth; for the LORD has spoken. – Isaiah 25:8
You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house.