Zachery turner

What the Fuck

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

I'm 99% sure that my girlfriend is only with me so she can get pictures of my dog whenever she wants

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@DoctorBigly Jokes on you I already ruin my life so nothing else gets a chance

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

You can tell what mood I'm in by what I eat for breakfast. Some days it's gummy bears and hot coco, other days it's cereal made with a White Russian

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@Billyjon96 Drink with us again sometime soon bb 💕

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@Billyjon96 You are my favorite person jolly bones

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

I've lost my hat and it's made me realize that my hair has grown past my nose. It may be time for a trim

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

You know it's a good liquor store run when the passenger seat belt sensor is going off #newyearsbooze

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@Emily_Larrison Ayy congrats on the smart shit my dude 👌

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@Michaela_Rea He hasn't even gotten to the really bad one

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

Looking out the window every so often to make sure my car is still in my fucking driveway because the universe hates me.

[Dalai Lama @DalaiLama]

His Holiness the Dalai Lama meeting with former US President Barack Obama in New Delhi, India on December 1, 2017. (Photo by Tenzin Taklha)

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@DoctorBigly It doesn't help that you're ugly #getanewface

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

How do you know it's gonna be a good day? When you order a big breakfast w/ hot cakes and they give you 2 hash browns 😎

[Chris Maddern @chrismaddern]

We interrupt this timeline of depressing shit to bring you this... a baby lion learning to roar. 🦁
https://t.co/Y7Wnh2jHwj

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

280 characters? Fuck that.

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@ThaReelButters @lorde Shut up

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@Emily_Larrison Same tho

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@dnallohleoj 1.) its mountain not hill. 2.) I'm also on vengeance quests irl as well

[Zachery turner @MrTurtleBass]

@dnallohleoj Well what else do you go on a vengeance quest for?