Nobody important

Bible Salesmen.

[James Fishback @j_fishback]

Us: “An H-1B took my dream job, Blackstone bought my dream home, and Flock is spying on my kids.

Can you help?”

Them: “Lake America 🌅”

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

If your wife cheated on you with a Savannah banana I feel like you’d have to kill yourself

[*Proceeds into the Innermost Chamber* @coolestdudeyet]

Surely there's some Chinese pharmaceutical company making quaaludes right. Like they can't just be fully lost to time

[VALERiCA TOO $QUiRT @valericasucks]

my inner child wants a newport

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

FBI agents have to retire at 57, air traffic controllers at 56, and pilots at 65. But somehow demented 70 and 80 year olds running the country is totally fine. Make it make sense.

[shoe @shoe0nhead]

yes some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice Israel is willing to make

[Syd Steyerhart @SydSteyerhart]

I would rather see this beautiful world and everything in it reduced to molten slag than give the Boomers technology to live forever.

[Dallas Texas TV @DallasTexasTV]

Chicks beating the hell out of each other at the Star in Frisco

[courtney @elliottsmjth]

are cigarettes actually bad for you or is that another liberal lie

[ok, @kokokokokokoaa]

Pornhub banned, TikTok banned, the baconator meal cost $15. This the shit they were talking about in revelations

[maha @mahaaaay]

white people love saying “oh those are dangerous” to a bag of chips. lol just eat the doritos man

[MMCL @MMCL69]

Autistic kids be like

[chet 🛸 @bob_lazars_dad]

the sex my beautiful gf and i just had makes the human centipede look like a hallmark movie

[AB @AB84]

CTE don’t effect this Dick Doe 🥶

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

Travis Kelce losing his blaccent and wigger swag is like seeing an angel lose it’s wings

[Nobody important @Mr_Pablo13]

I’m at the age where the font the tattoos are in could be a possible deal breaker