Mr. Sparkle

I AM DISRESPECTFUL TO DIRT. CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

DIRT IS MR. SPARKLE'S ENEMY. NORTH KOREA BUILT ON BIG PILE OF DIRT. YOU DO THE MATH.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE HELP MAKE JAPAN SQUEAKY CLEAN FOR JOHN KERRY, BECAUSE IT IS NO PLACE FOR LOAFERS.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

KIM JONG-UN, JOIN ME OR DIE. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS?

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

WHY IS DARKNESS DISRESPECTFUL TO SUPER BOWL? I AM FILLED WITH SHAME BUT CANNOT SEE BECAUSE LIGHT HAS BEEN BANISHED FROM STADIUM.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE PROMISED SUPER BOWL ADD 16 YEARS AGO, BUT IT WAS BANISHED TO LAND OF WIND AND GHOSTS. WILL THIS BE THE YEAR IT ESCAPES AND AIRS?

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

SHAME ON YOU, OPRAH! IF U HAD USE MR. SPARKLE, FOODSTUFFS WOULD BE BANISH FROM DISHES & YOU'D GAIN SUPER STRENGTH TO LIFT BIRTHDAY GIFT.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE SUCH GOOD BRAND LOGO, HE APPROACHED TO MAKE SEXY ACTION THRILLER BY NETFLIX.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE'S POWERFUL SOAP ACTION SO GOOD, HE MAKE LANCE ARMSTRONG LOOK SQUEAKY CLEAN!

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

WHILE PLEASING THE USAGE OF MR. SPARKLE, IT IS RECOMMENDED NOT TO INGEST THE FOODSTUFFS ON DISHES AFTER BEST WASH.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

YOU CAN'T SPELL DISRESPECTFUL WITHOUT D-I-R-T.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

YOU NO HAVE MR. SPARKLE AT HOME? GO TO GARBAGE DUMP AND LOOK FOR MY FACE. MAYBE YOU GET LUCKY.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

USE MR. SPARKLE BEST WASH TO PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DISHES LOOKING DIRTY.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE IS THE SOAP CONTAINS DIRT'S ENEMY, WHICH THE HIGH QUALITY ONLY PRODUCE.

[David Weigel @daveweigel]

Jodie Foster is filibustering, won't let awards show go on until she gets answers about Benghazi

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

SHE-BANSHEE JODIE FOSTER DISHONORS ME WITH HER GOLDEN GLOBE ORATIONS. CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM FEELING SHAME?

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

USE MR. SPARKLE TO BANISH FRAGRANCE OF COFFEE AND BREAD FROM YOUR DISHES TO THE LAND OF WAILING SPIRITS.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

HEAVYMANUFACTURINGCONCERN IS NOW HIRING. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS WITH THE EMPLOYMENT YOU HAVE NOW?

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MR. SPARKLE IS AVAILABLE IN A PREFECTURE NEAR YOU. ASK LOCAL UNKEMPT MERCHANT FOR LUCKY BEST WASH DETERGENT.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

MY POWERFUL SOAP IS UNFIT FOR USE BY THE LIKES OF YOU UNLESS YOU JOIN MY CAUSE.

[Mr. Sparkle @Mr__Sparkle]

I AM THE NEMESIS OF ALL THAT IS UNCLEAN. I BANISH FOODSTUFFS FROM YOUR DISHES.