Allegedly C. Piven, Esq.

Just rummaging through America’s cultural dumpster fire. Reporting live from the bottom of the barrel.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

🚨INTRODUCING: Garbage Pail Politicians—the only trading cards slimier than a Capitol Hill bathroom! Each pack is dripping with scandalous slime:

They lie! They cheat! They eat your lunch money and call it taxes! Collect the whole rotten crew—

“Pinot Pelosi” – Comes with a wine glass accessory and a corkscrew tongue.

“Sleepy Creepy Joe” – Nods off mid-sentence while sniffing the other cards.

“Occasional Cortex” – Her brain only works on alternate Tuesdays. And we all know who that is…It’s AOC.

(Each sold separately. Extortion not included.)

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@marryevan999 PolyBackTest

[Marry Evan @marryevan999]

A fired Goldman Sachs quant trader taught me everything in a single conversation
He said: “We don’t do predictions. We only buy contracts where the price deviation exceeds 6%.”

It’s just that simple
That’s the desk operation for a $2 million annual salary
I fed his explanation and 5 GitHub repos into Claude, and Claude built a scanner. It processes over 400 markets every hour

This scanner can find those contracts priced in the 7-19c range, with true probabilities between 60-90%
At these entry points, you need a win rate of 1/4
And this bot’s win rate is 81%

Three months later:
From $2,000 to $8,191
99 trades, Sharpe ratio 2.30

A few cases:
ETH Merge upgrade - market 72c, true probability 88%, +19c
SOL breaks $200 - market 44c, true probability 81%, +15c
Florida hurricane cat3+ - market 81c, true probability 92%, +7c
Wheat breaks $800 - market 53c, true probability 68%, +20c

All of these were found by the scanner, and all were profitable
He looked at my terminal last week
He said: “This is what we do with $800M, 47-person team.”
And my current setup costs $25 per month
Claude - $20
VPS - $5
Repos - free
API - free

Now there are 8 agents running 24/7:
velvet_void +$697
nano_alpha +$541
ratking_eth +$407
darkpool_7 +$356
His fund returned 19% last year
And my setup returned 409% in three months

The real edge was never any secret—it’s just always been expensive, until now

70% win rate, 7 wallets copytrading rn from ~500 monitored, bot never paused, never gambling, just math and profit.

You can backtest your own strategies with @polybacktest, it has sub-second historical data going back a month. No-code builder available.

Giving This Free for 24 hours. To get it:

1. Comment the word 'PolyBackTest'
2. Like and Retweet this post
3. Follow me @marryevan999 (so i can DM you)

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@vulturetrades Guide

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@jamescoder12 Agent

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@harryjsisson “Something he doesn’t like,” is such a reductionist argument even your 3-year-old peer-review said, “This feels lazy.”

You have no credibility.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@TimKat11 @Bubblebathgirl Lemon is a returd

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@ArtemisDMoon1 @Bubblebathgirl I’m glad you like them. I have more in the works.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@ArtemisDMoon1 I’m working on it 👍

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@harryjsisson It’s not an acronym. The M stands for Mike, you asshat.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@DonghungNguyen @Bubblebathgirl What were you saying…?

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@johnpavlovitz I’ll just leave this here.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@Armed_Bear_MAGA Do you think he’s actually as delusional as he seems?

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@harryjsisson Give it time. MAGA was either right or it’s was the Jewish state, in which case…MAGA was right.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@painterinoil @dom_lucre Thank you.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@StephenKing AUTHOR OF HORROR NOVELS, FOUND GUILTY OF MURDERING HIS OWN LEGACY

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@harryjsisson You and your party are the hypocrites

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

@dom_lucre Bob Vylan is garbage and a coward.

[Allegedly C. Piven, Esq. @Mr____Allegedly]

🚨Bob Vylan’s career: survived only by his cowardice.