Butterscotch

Darling, you should see my mother

[Butterscotch @MsTanui]

My mother’s love will last me a lifetime❤️

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

i’m seriously considering hosting an adult spelling bee. it’s time to separate the “your” people from the “you’re” people once and for all.

[Bill Ables, Esq. @lawyer_humor]

There is a disturbing trend of young lawyers trying to be concise.

A 2nd-year drafted an executive summary for a banking client using bullet points and plain English.

She proudly stated that she reduced a 50-page compliance memo into a 2-page brief.

I asked her if she thought the client was paying $950 an hour for brevity.

She muttered something about respecting the CEO's time.

I explained that clients don't pay us to solve their problems quickly.

They pay us to make their problems look so incomprehensible that only we can solve them.

I made her rewrite the summary using dense, impenetrable legalese.

It took her 12 hours to bury the conclusion on page 42.

The client called me the next morning to thank us for our incredibly thorough analysis.

Clarity is a customer service concept.

We are in the business of intellectual intimidation.

[Ous'B 💚 @BongsMahlangu_]

I don’t “run a strict program” when dating. I like to sit back and watch you do what you wanna do so I can see what you’d rather do. Character reveals itself in freedom

[Butterscotch @MsTanui]

As a litigation lawyer, the fires I put out everyday!! 😭 Omg! 😭

[Butterscotch @MsTanui]

No it does not 😭😂

[hunter @3gpmh]

i highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily

[scott 🌞 @scottdomes]

a few years ago my friend and I were both single, and we had a conversation about “elevating dating to an art form”

it started out mostly joking but eventually a clear picture emerged: we would strive to make the experience as beautiful as possible for the other person

that meant clear communication, exceptional effort & presence, and, if things weren’t a match, letting them down in a gentle, honest way

it was successful (both of us are now in relationships) but also it made dating fun again. it made it a creative pursuit - how do I create something beautiful here - and dispelled any fatigue or disillusionment

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

hot take but i genuinely prefer when attraction is immediate and openly explored instead of the “friends to lovers” slow burn, just say you like each other and move accordingly, i don’t need 5 seasons of emotional denial.

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

And for my next trick I will call my life beautiful and watch it instantly become so

[Poetry. @2lastvibes]

“I hope you find a love so dear to you that even when the world is full of people and noise, your heart still turns toward only them. A love that stays in your thoughts without effort, where no presence can replace theirs, and no attention can pull you away. A bond so deep that familiarity feels like home, and distance never changes the way your heart chooses them, again and again, quietly and completely, as if they are the only one that truly exists for you.”

[belle @belleslore]

maybe the secret to having a good life is spending enough time outside to remember that you’re part of nature, not separate from it

[Adéṣẹ̀tọ́ @Illusionist_126]

Your heart is not a state secret. You are meant to declare allegiances. You are meant to have favourites. Write the letter. Miss the train. Stay up until dawn talking. You should be caught red-handed loving something, someone.

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

i want to double text you. i want to send you a random thought when it crosses my mind. i want to tell you something funny the second it happens.

i don’t want to sit there calculating response times so i can appear emotionally detached.

if liking someone means i have to act uninterested all the time, then what exactly are we doing here?

[🇰🇪 James WaNjeri @JamesKWaNjeri]

If you earn 50k a month, it will take you 5,000 months of working without spending to have saved up to 250 million. That is 417 years of working to have money that a mere CEC of a County Government has lying around in his bedroom. We are killing the future of Kenya

[Butterscotch @MsTanui]

Where are we watching love island from? I'm running behind 😭

[Muva! @Kar3ytess]

Being kenyan is so difficult. Somebody is always trying to kill you. 😭

[🇪🇸2017 Dybala 🇦🇷 @_justvic1]

Vile me ni mtu mzuri what did I do to deserve a Ruto presidency during my early adulthood???

[Mbekezeli @MbekezeliMB]

I’m glad social media companies are incentivising us to leave their apps.
It’s as if they know I have tonnes of reading and writing to do.

[STF @tekinsaeko]

America will be first country to lock out Kenyans from going to America should we record even one single of ebola case. Yet you are here welcoming their sick patients. We are led by fools.

[la nea elegante @laneaelegante]

Increíble que ahora todo hace daño, que el aceite, que la leche, que bañarse todos los días, que dormir del lado derecho, todo es malo excepto trabajar 8 horas al día, 5 días a la semana. Eso sigue siendo buenísimo.