You don't even know you're in hell until the demons are jumping out at you putting their hands on things you know they never should have been able to touch
Looking around scared but knowing they never should have touched that is when you learn your position.Start asking questions
Maybe it's controversial but...I think you need other people to grow as a person and isolation doesn't truly breed change. A light will illuminate flaws and the fear of being seen small is the dark that keeps you less than. It's dark in that place. Turn on the light. Go outside.
The thing is people choose to be hard not because it's easier, but because no one taught them how to properly and effectively be soft. We operate on un-evolved softness and get destroyed because we assume everyone is soft so we give softness with no boundaries.
U let people have their way with u but on your way you're aimless. Then u assume others are hard and that's the place to be because pain is something you feel should be shared. No. Pain is a refinery process. U must learn to still be soft or succumb to being your own demon.
I often think, what is the best way to look after yourself in a non selfish way because I for 1 believe givers are so selfish to believe it is selfless to forever serve others while complaining about never being served themselves. Maybe selfishness is the really the act of
They will never repay you because you never even explicitly stated it was even a loan. No tears. No complaining. If what was given was so expensive you would have marked it as so. But now you know you give. Takers won't always respect a no but you should never ever give