Dumb Pistachio

proud to serve as the first openly gay physician

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

proud to launch Shots for Tots, my babysitting service where I secretly vaccinate the kids of antivaxxers

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

cupping bruises are hickies for straights who wear silicon wedding bands

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@heimaeyita hell yeah

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@fperrywilson @Julianburgos This rings true but interesting they found the proportion of hospitalizations with intensive care unit admission declined. It feels like more aggressive care is increasing and the default

https://t.co/jjnnMShPI9

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

how/why do straight men stand completely still during conversation. I shift my weight and fidget more just talking to myself

[Kim Quindlen @kimquindlen]

How reality TV stars cry

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

scold-flashing my lights at drivers with wipers on but not headlights like I’m the hall monitor of the world

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

emerged a different person after 3 hours of Beau is afraid

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@sashyjane what was your order ❤️

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

celebrating Easter by attending 8-10 services bar crawl style getting a lil communion buzz

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@futureislands ❤️❤️

[Kim Quindlen @kimquindlen]

When documentaries show people getting settled before they “start the interview”

[Pyramid Chad @pyrameadhead]

Do NOT speak Italian to Black Phillip

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@Anthropologal Love it! The word combo “thrift store for $60” doesn’t make sense to my brain

[con @koni2019]

feeling emotional made a meme

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

I don’t need alcohol to feel fucked up I simply take out my contacts after working a night shift

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@Iaursearles release them

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

drag king name Jeff Benzos

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@oldfigs yeah it’s not laid out well :/ there is a tool where you put in your age, which shots you’ve received, and whether you’re immunocompromised and it’ll say if you qualify. but also you don’t have to prove anything in person so 💉💉

[Dumb Pistachio @MultWashington]

@oldfigs very pro booster and Doing You, but that long list of conditions refers to factors that put you at risk for serious illness. They don’t qualify you for a boost/count as immunocompromise