munted_and_cunted

Life’s a garden dig it

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I used to cut rug, but now I vacuum

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I think the Costco receipt lady likes me

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Call me non traditional but boneless wings still hit

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Lesbian reggae band name:
Bumpin Clams

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Ayy yoo catch this, the older ya get the sweeter the shrimp, coming from a sober man

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Everyone likes pickles till you’re in one

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Her: How big are you?

Me: have you ever rolled snake eyes three times in a row… I’m that rare

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I swear you can put Shit on a Hawaiian roll and it’ll still be good

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Man I was drunker than a one eyed catfish swimming backwards in a bird bath last night

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Clocking in

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I’m the Jedi master of eating butt. 🍩

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Find the carrot and you’ll find the rabbit, every god damn time.

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Deaf ducks can’t quack

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Well I just heard…

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I had two bud lights and now I’m drawing a bath

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Hear me out Tarzan , but black

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Imagine saying your only drinking beers today without browning out a lil

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

Cripes!! https://t.co/BdAwUai6tR

[munted_and_cunted @Muntytoothpaste]

I deleted TikTok I’m officially not gay anymore

[ABC7 Eyewitness News @ABC7]

A woman and her two dogs were killed while out walking in Pico Rivera. She had apparently been struck by lightning as storms moved through Southern California in the morning, officials said. https://t.co/coXQtG18aw